Dog training articles that offers tips and insights from your dog's point of view
Dog Dating: How to Pick the Right Playmate
Let’s face it, socializing is harder than it’s ever been in every way. This means we have to be intentional about finding the right way to socialize our dogs.
As some of you know, dog trainers don’t love dog parks. If your only opportunity to socialize was a rave or a packed party where the guests are doing parkour off each other, I doubt most of you would be pumped to go out. I certainly wouldn’t! I’m more of a one on one quality time visit or casual walk in the park person, as many of our dogs are.
Unless your dog has reliable recall and is safe on hiking trails, in unfenced areas where dogs gather, or the unofficial neighborhood dog parks you may stumble on during one of your walks, that leaves greeting dogs on leash on walks, but that can be tricky, too! The leash can feel restrictive for a lot of dogs and, with so few dogs who are well versed in dog body language, the usual greeting I see, one that begins with stiff, statue like body language or dogs rushing towards each other, isn’t the ideal way for dogs to begin a conversation and can lead to less than positive experiences.
So, how do you socialize your puppy?
I have my clients with puppies go on dates. Dog dates! Finding the right playmate for your dog is a lot like dating. You need to set some parameters to narrow down the options, make your best selection and give a few a try before you find the right pal. In an ideal world this is a friend or someone in your neighborhood and also someone you can trade dog watching with when you go out of town so you don’t need to pay or send your dog to a boarding facility.
Step 1) What are you looking for? You want to pick a puppy that is about the same size and around the same age or old enough to know manners but not so old they aren’t into puppy play time. Every dog is different, but up to 2 or 3yr old dogs are usually very playful and would enjoy a puppy.
Step 2) Find somewhere to post. This could be your neighborhood facebook group, Nextdoor.com, a sign in front of your house (why not?), or a shout out in a social network. Use your groups! Reach out to your community! Ideally find someone with a playful dog who lives within walking distance. The post can be something like:
“Our new puppy needs some dog time! Our pup, NAME, is a WEIGHT, AGE, BREED. He loves to ACTIVITY and seems to play LEVEL. We are doing some training and daily exercise and want to be sure they have time to be a dog and play. If you have a puppy or older dog who loves puppies we’d love to set up a date and see if it’s a match!”
-If you have a fenced yard and can host, mention that. Ideally someone has one, especially if your puppy isn’t fully vaccinated. You can also buy a long line and meet in an easement in your neighborhood or quiet park. I like to check out the satellite map and look for big areas of green nearby then go investigate. And I have found some magical greenbelts that way!
-It’s best to keep dog play out of the house where they have plenty of space and the host dog is less likely to be territorial of their bed, toys, bowls or where their food is kept. There is no reason to bring the dogs inside together or let them interact near the doorway.
Getting ready for your date
Don’t be nervous! Just like in dating, the point isn’t to be liked by everyone, it’s to find the right fit. Tell your dog to be themselves, but the best version of themselves. To help the dogs out in this goal suggest that you both go for a good long walk separately earlier in the day to take off the wild edge. If you tell the other owner you will be taking your dog on a walk before the dogs meet for this reason, hopefully they will pick up the hint and do the same, but I tend to be more direct and specifically request it. Blame me! “My trainer said….” This walk will burn the top layer of energy off so your dog can use their brain instead of being full of energy as well as overwhelmed by excitement at the chance to play. Remember - play dates are not a substitute for exercise! That is part of the reason dog parks are so problematic, people use them as a way to avoid taking walks.
Start with a walk
In fact we suggest that you then begin your date with a walk. Yes! Another walk! This is how we introduce dogs to set ourselves up for success.
Don’t let the dogs greet right away, but walk in the same direction together at a 6’ or more distance.
Begin with one dog on the sidewalk and the other in the street. Have the handlers hold the dogs on the outside, far apart with the humans near each other.
Even though the dogs will be excited, keep walking forward until they calm down.
You can reward calmer energy with a greeting.
Not saying hello right away gives the dogs a chance to get used to each other before they greet, taking some pressure off that initial sniff. When we want to be sure that dogs get along, this is the way we introduce them. Think of it as a best practice.
Let the dogs greet on a loose leash (no holding pressure while they say hello!) and do a quick sniff sniff, getting back to walking before play or a power dynamic can begin. If one dog is more interested and the other starts to feel overwhelmed that isn’t ideal. We also don’t want the puppies to launch into play on leash.
Did you know that in dog culture it’s polite to sniff for no more than 3 seconds then dip your head away, giving the other dog a chance to disengage or re-engage in the interaction? No? Most dogs don’t either! We touch the leash every three seconds, applying pressure until our dog dips their nose away, then we release the pressure and let the interaction continue.
On the walk back to the house the dogs can be on the inside and the humans can walk a bit closer with COVID safety in mind. If your pup isn’t fully vaccinated you can mimic this walk process in the front or back yard.
What we really really try to avoid is greeting in doorways. That can lead to trouble, especially if the dog whose home it is feels at all protective over the space and unsure about the excited newcomer.
Either in the yard or on the street, keep the dogs on leash and keep them moving, giving them something to focus on other than each other.
Greeting this way is life changing! The dogs won’t always want to play with each other, or even get along, but you will know you did what you could to set yourself up for success every time. It is even a good way to begin future playdates, not just the first greeting. Since other owners won’t know this super pro tip, it will be up to you to take charge and lead the way. Just say your trainer told you to ;)
Curious how to guide a dog to positive play?
Check out this video of puppies getting one of their first socialization dates to see how I manage them.
Be sure to “like” and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more free dog training videos!
Socialization isn’t all about play
Socialization isn’t all about play anymore than dating is all about being physically intimate. It’s important that puppies learn to be around other dogs in many ways - interacting directly or co-playing side by side, dogs who love other dogs and dogs who don’t. Sometimes this means not playing and respecting another dog’s boundaries, but that can be just as hard as not texting someone new who you are really excited about.
A lot of people ‘leave it to the dogs’ to teach each other, but this unfortunately doesn’t work as well as we’d like it to. The same way many people struggle to be direct and assertive, especially when they are being bullied or overwhelmed, many dogs don’t have the personality or social know how to say “Hell No” when it’s needed, and that is where we as responsible owners step in. This takes us being present, reading our dogs behavior, body language and energy as well as having the courage to risk being seen as impolite when we quietly intervene. Those are some big challenges right there!
If one dog is shy or nervous, take the pressure off the interaction by playing with the other dog or having each owner play with their own dog near each other. I like to keep a nervous dog on leash because the leash gives me some control. It also gives my dog a confidence boost since we are connected and they know that means I’m in charge. This responsibility means that I will have to step in and help my nervous pup tell another dog to back off if that is necessary. A good rule of thumb is to have both dogs on leash and go for a walk or hang out, letting the nervous pup initiate a sniff when they are ready.
But it also is!
We want the dogs to play with each other to get social skills and to be a dog. The fact that play is a great outlet for energy is a bonus. Don’t forget that this is the order of importance! When we hold this perspective, it’s easier to keep things calm, take breaks and end the playdate before anything has a chance to go sideways.
What is polite play? We had a pack of up to 14 dogs go on off leash hikes with us every weekday and we learned a lot about what kind of behavior in play was prosocial and what led to trouble. You know the stereotype of telling kids “you better calm down before someone loses an eye?” What they are commenting on is that when kids get to playing too rough for too long, they go out of control and are at risk of getting hurt. The same is true for dogs.
Our rules:
Good play involves taking breaks. Dogs who play nicely have the energy of ‘romp, romp, pause. Romp, romp, pause’ instead of ‘runrunrunrurnrunrunrunrunrun.’
At first, the dogs may need to try some things and figure out where they fall. This could involve being a little rude to see what they will get away with. Dogs test their boundaries reliably and early. It’s important to allow a little bit of this, but not let it get out of hand
Displacement Behaviors mean “I need a break, or I am not interested”
Yawning
“Whale eye” looking out of the corner of their eye, instead of directly at the other dog.
Sniffing or getting a drink of water
Scratching, gator roll itching
Lip licking, their own or the mouth of the other dog
Shaking off
Uro-genital checks
Sit down
Hackles up (doesn’t always mean danger)
Warning signals mean “I’m done”
Freeze, this can include an upright stiffly wagging tail
Lip curl
Growl
Tuck tail and run
Hide
Hypersalivation
More than one correction between dogs (do not scold the dog giving the correction, call the dog receiving the correction away)
Hackles up (sometimes it does)
Our no-no’s are:
Body checking - where one dog crashes into another like a football tackle
Humping
Pawing at or putting paws on another dog
Mouth on another dog, especially the neck (parallel mouths okay, perpendicular mouths not allowed).
Herding or nipping at heels
Putting a neck over another dog’s back, standing over another dog (a dog’s airspace is part of their body! Harley doesn’t like a dog standing over her)
Pinning a dog in a corner, or under something
Running wild, while beautiful, often precedes poor decisions
If a game of chase ensues it should be interrupted after 2 revolutions
The longer dogs play, the more intense it gets. Step in to encourage breaks if the dogs don’t take them naturally
Bullying
Does it look like one dog is on the offensive and the other dog is on the defensive? I like to check in and see if the quieter dog is interested in play or if they are just doing their best to fend off a play attack by grabbing the collar of the more exuberant dog and seeing what the other one does. Do they take the opportunity to move away or do they come back and re-engage?
Treats, bones, food and other resources
When I take Harley to a friend’s house, I always ask if they free feed their dog. Whether food is in the bowl or not, Harley will immediately follow her nose and trot over to where the other dog (or cat!) gets fed to try her luck. It is natural for a dog to feel protective over their food, so I try to control Harley, asking her to come away from that area, and I watch the other dog’s body language and energy. Definitely pick up a bowl with food in it, and maybe pick up an empty bowl if the dog looks uncomfortable. Also, shoo them out of the kitchen to prevent an issue. Safe practices around resources is our responsibility to manage, not a dog’s responsibility to figure out.
Dogs can be possessive over high value toys, especially raw hides, horns, chews, bully sticks. Harley will immediately go over to the bully stick she has turned her nose up at for months when another dog comes over, not wanting them to have it. It is good practice to pick up any toys or bones when a new dog is coming over or dogs are not being monitored.
Sometimes I will give dogs a bully stick or marrow bone as a treat or a way to coplay that doesn’t involve interacting with each other. A good rule of thumb is to have one more toy on the ground than there are dogs. Ain’t it just the way it goes that another dog’s bone looks better than yours? We’ve all been there. Expect the dogs to rotate bones and tempt each other off one toy using another. Be ready to step in and say ‘eh-eh’ to a dog that is standing near another dog chewing or redirect him back to his own bone or the spare that you have laying out because you took my sage advice on this matter.
Generally, the best practice is to not have food or bones around when new dogs are getting to know each other or when they are unattended. There is no need to add that level of stress to an interaction and I consider giving dogs a treat that takes more than one bite to eat advanced. In fact, even having treats on you can make your dog possessive over you and start guarding you from the other dog, introducing a dynamic you don’t want. Leave the treats in the cupboard - being outside and enjoying playtime is treat enough.
Resource Guarding
It isn’t just bones, dogs can get possessive over their bed, ‘their’ house, a toy they love, a toy they have never shown interest in, even you! Think of it like walking up and putting your hand on your partner’s shoulder when they have been chatting to an attractive person for a while. We’ve all done that or seen it done, probably unconsciously, and it is a way of indicating ownership. Some degree of guarding is understandable, but it’s up to you to be the ‘owner’ of all things and set boundaries with your dog over what they are allowed to be possessive over, which is ultimately only their personal space, and even that isn’t always true.
When I used to board dogs, Harley would follow a new dog around the house, warning them they better stay away from certain things or areas. Harley was not just being possessive, she was laying the groundwork for setting up their relationship dynamic and correcting their excited energy. I would correct her if she was crossing the line and I later adjusted my system to have a new dog on leash in the house until the dogs established a dynamic and until they could walk around calmly.
My approach to resource guarding is that prevention is the best cure. Pick up anything your dog may guard before the other dog comes. Put away anything your dog is guarding. If that means you can’t play with balls during this playdate, that is okay. If your dog needs to be corrected, do it. Let your dog know they are out of line. This will build his trust in you and help reiterate that it’s no fun to act bigger than your britches.
How to read and greet other dogs
We are lucky enough to live in a city that has plenty of places for our dogs to hike on trails. While taking advantage of this we encounter a lot of dogs. One of the great parts about being out in public, is the chance to meet, play with, and walk away from a lot of dogs. The trails are great because they are more self selecting than a dog park and usually full of dogs that have the level of training in which they can be trusted to be off leash without running away. Hiking also makes it easy to walk away if play is getting too excited or too rough.
Look at these good, calm pups! Listening and obedience off leash is on point.
Out in the wild, you are going to see a lot of different dogs. Unfortunately, many dogs have poor social skills or bad dog manners. Many owners, simply, do not know what they are seeing. Many dogs, simply, have not been taught to develop the self control necessary to hold themselves back and be polite in exciting moments such as approaching another dog.
Do your best to keep your dog calm and in a heel: Say a light ‘eh eh’ or call your dog by name if they are locking on with their gaze or amping up with their energy. It’s important that you show your dog how to handle that exciting moment with manners and obedience. Do your best to be polite on the trails.
The moment you see a dog, check in on your dog as well as the dog approaching. You want to avoid any issues, so when you see a certain posture or behavior, you may turn and go the other way, or pull off the trail to let them pass.
What to look for:
If a dog runs up to you full speed. That isn’t a polite way to introduce themselves and shows a lack of self control.
You want your dog to know that you are on it and managing the situation. Show this by getting out in front of your dog and saying ‘EH-EH’ or ‘Off’ to the other dog waving your arm, and snapping or clapping to say ‘I need your attention’ or ‘you better back off, bud.’
The dog likely isn’t used to this kind of direction or correction during greetings, so that surprise and curiosity will help disrupt their fixation on your pup and calm things down a bit.
They could be okay once they calm down, or they could be a bit pushy, so you want to watch and see.
If a dog has tense body language in their ears, neck and back, a stiff gait, raised hackles on their back, or a still, slow, methodically wagging tail, that also won’t make for the best greeting.
Try to loosen the energy up by saying ‘easy’ in a sing song, then a more stern voice or snap your fingers to break the tension. Then watch what they are going to do next.
Try to keep your body loose and your energy calm so the dogs know you are not worried. You want to project to your dog that you’re on it and they don’t need to be concerned or step in to regulate the situation.
If your dog starts to display this energy, snap, say ‘eh eh’ or their name, tap the leash if they are on one, or swing your foot their way, whatever you need to do to get their attention, break the tension, or disrupt the hard stare.
If you do that repeatedly over time, they will understand that when they behave that way they get corrected, so they should stop doing that.
Pablo is asking Willa to play, but it looks like she is trying to take a breather in the shade. Either he will read her and turn away, or ignore her body language and push her to engage.
When a dog lays down or goes into a play bow upon seeing another dog, a lot of owners find it cute so they stand still and let it happen.
It’s important to keep on moving, no matter what
If your dog does that, keep walking and say ‘let’s go’ or ‘easy,’ or do some snapping to let your dog know that isn’t the best way to have a polite greeting.
A dog who does that isn’t calm, they are expressing excitement!
When you get close, they tend to launch, which has the same end result as the first dog described.
Think of it as a compressed coil waiting to pop. You don’t want to be preemptive, but do get in front of the pack and be ready to correct that dog if they spring.
This is not the best. These siblings are way too amped for my taste. We were probably fussing at them while we snapped this photo.
If a dog is jumping, barking, or lunging, that is also a no no. Imagine if you passed by or were approached by someone on the street who was yelling at you. You would not be in a good place to be receptive toan interaction.
As much as possible you want to keep on moving forward here. If you stop, your dog will focus on the other dog’s behavior and, understandably, start to get on their level.
This is a ‘hustle by’ situation, on leash, or a ‘step between, snapping your fingers, and keep moving’ situation, off leash.
You can say whatever you need to say to owners. Let them know you need them to be stepping in and controlling their dog. Most think these behaviors are normal or don’t know how to correct them so they usually stand by watching.
In a sweet voice, you can say ‘oh, my dog isn’t always friendly’ or ‘he is a little older/coming back from an injury’ or ‘hey, would you mind calling your dog back?’ I Always start sweetly, while asking the owner for help. At the same time work to get your body between the dogs so you can back the other dog off a bit or distract them..
Tune into the owner as soon as you see a dog. Do they tense up? Are they calling their dog back in a nervous or frantic way? Working to get them on leash? Trying to pull over into the woods or loop away to avoid you
If that is the case, try to be polite as well. Maybe they are in training or the owner can’t quite manage them yet. Maybe they aren’t always friendly. Who knows.
If someone looks like they are nervous about the greeting. Keep your dog in a heel. A dog behaving oddly attracts the attention of other dogs and sparks their curiosity. ‘What is going on with that guy? Let me investigate….’
If you don’t feel you have solid control say ‘Let’s go’ or ‘Come Come’ and start running forward, glancing back to be sure your pup is coming.
Also verbally correct them with a ‘Hey’ or ‘Eh Eh’ or ‘Let’s go’ if they aren’t coming, get distracted, or attempt to go check the other dog out.
Running is usually effective because a) it is exciting and b) they think ‘uh oh, there goes my ride!’
You don’t want to teach your dog they should be afraid of other dogs, so keep walking, and try to keep your energy calm. Look forward while keeping tabs on your dog as well as the other dog to know if any action on your part or change of course is required.
It’s your responsibility to help other owners be comfortable as well.
When training your pup to have good dog manners, you first need to be able to walk by other dogs without your dog exploding with excitement, reactive barking or lunging to greet every dog they see. -
Use verbal, energetic, and leash touches or corrections to show them ‘hey, I know other dogs are exciting, but you need to keep it together. When I say walk we are walking. You don’t get to say hi to every dog you see!’
Don’t reward very excited energy with a greeting. Only calm dogs get to say hi.
Think about what is normal for us. If you ran up to someone and got all up in their business, they would likely be defensive and not very excited about meeting you. The rule of thumb is “you can look as long as you keep your energy calm, keep walking with me, and are willing to pass by even though you really, really want to go say hello.”
You also don’t want to get tense, jerk your dog away, cross the street or send signals to the other owner that you are worried or that your dog is uncool.
Try to stay calm, give corrections, make a plan in your mind as you approach, and keep your eyes fixed ahead of you while stealing glances at your pup and the other dog.
Pawblo is looking a bit pumped here, we will probably do a lap and chill out before we try to engage with another dog to set the dogs up for the calmest greeting we can have.
After you can reliably pass other dogs, loop back.
Call out to the owner, ‘hey, is your dog friendly?’ If the dog is, say, ‘I’m doing some training, would you mind standing still so we can walk by you a few times?
Or, if you are pretty sure your dog can keep it together on the approach, say ‘would you mind if we let them say hi?” Usually the answer is yes.
Be shameless about asking other owners for help. What a great opportunity to meet your neighbors and interact with other dog owners! -
Channel your inner Allegra and just ask. The worst that will happen is they say no. It’s not personal.
On the approach, your dog needs to stay calm and collected.
If he is getting too excited, barking, pulling, lunging, holding a dead stare, or scrambling to get to the other dog, NOPE.Turn and move in the other direction.
Make your dog think ‘Gosh, whenever I act like that, we move away from the thing I wantIs a connection there?’
Do whatever you have to do to get your dog’s attention back on you. Let them know that they are on the clock, and that what they just did isn’t going to allow them to greet a dog.
Once your dog is calm and you are giving those leash touches to remind them to stay cool, try the approach again.
Talk to the owner here. ‘Sorry, just a moment, we are trying to work on some manners.’ Because most people simply don’t know, this can be a cool learning moment for them, too! You are helping to make the world a better place for dogs.
Try not to offer any unsolicited advice about their handling or their dog.
If the other dog is looking super excited, then that isn’t the right pup to try this with.
If you didn’t catch it early or the excitement builds, say ‘oh well! I guess my dog just isn’t ready. Thanks anyway! Have a great day!’
You can also throw in a ‘cute pup!’ People love that.
Once you get that calm, thoughtful, controlled approach, switch from your working leash position to keep your dog in a heel to your greeting grip, pinching the tip of the handle of your leash.
Your dog needs room to display the body language dogs use to communicate with each other.
If your dog does a ‘no no’ like putting their paws on another dog, jumping, barking, doing a hard sniff, or getting into a play bow, do a verbal ‘eh eh’ and briefly take up contact on the leash.
If you need to, take up your working grip again and take a step or two backwards to get your dog out of there. Making your dog think, ‘Weird! If I start acting that way, I don’t get to say hello.! I wonder if that is related?’ Your dog learns over time the way to get to say hi is to be calm.
Hard sniff there, Willa! Cora isn’t thrilled.
Porter the GSP doesn’t seem into it, huh?
Remind your dog that even though you are having some pup time, you are still on the clock. Don’t pull on me or drag. Don’t make the other dog uncomfortable. Don’t get too amped up.
-It is polite in dog culture to ‘disengage’ every few seconds. Looking down or away or pausing and giving the other dog a little room gives the dog a chance to exit the interaction if they aren’t into it. Every three seconds, take up a light contact in the leash, increasing the pressure slowly until you achieve your goal of getting them to give the dog a little space, or, ideally, turn away for a second to see what the dog does. Do they want to keep interacting or not?
If the other dog is the one going hard, ‘pulse pulse’ on the leash and guide your dog away and out of the reach of the other dog. If they are off leash, step in between, snap and say ‘easy’ or ‘eh eh’ in a sing-songy voice to get their attention off your dog so they can get away.
This happens a LOT with my sweet little Harley. Other dogs think she is a toy or sniff her intensely and to their hearts content. If I see Harley standing frozen and looking uncomfortable, I’m going to step in to back the other dog off and give her a chance to escape. The reason she needs my help there is that if she were to move while the other dog is fixated on her, they would chase her and the situation would escalate.
If you are sweet, light, calm and sing songy, other owners usually don’t mind. If you were to get frantic and yell, they would get surprised and defensive.This usually isn’t necessary unless the other dog bats at, mounts, humps or pins your dog. Even then, stay calm and try to use your voice or body to break them up. If you are really worried, you can grab the other dog’s collar and pull them off as gently as you can. Usually if a big ‘no no’ is happening, the other owner will understand why you would do that.
Because there are so many accidentally naughty dogs out there, it’s important that you do what you have to do to encourage your dog to have manners as well as keep your dog safe. If your dog has a bad experience or gives another dog a bad experience it can make them fearful or defensive in their future interactions, adding to the problem and not the solution. Other owners may think you are wacky for having all these rules, but just like we need to teach kids what is socially acceptable and how to control their impulses, it is important we teach our dogs this as well.
Keep doing your thing, do it as gently as possible but as firmly as necessary and your dog will become a refined citizen of the dog world.
My dog doesn't want to meet your dog
My dog is 10 years old, she weighs 11lbs and her back is longer than she is tall. If you have a rambunctious puppy, larger dog or dog with poor greeting skills (you may not know! Most dogs these days do), my tiny dog doesn’t want to meet them.
I have talked about how our dogs have a culture of instant gratification. We love them, they are naturally impulsive, and more often than not they get what they want, but just as I can’t speak to everyone I want to, just as I am not always in the mood to have everyone who wants to, speak to me, dogs have the right to not be into it.
When I read Harley’s body language and can see she isn’t into it, I ask people to move along with their dog. Some dogs can’t handle it! They pull back, lunge at her, bark or balk. Yowza! What a stressful life to have a meltdown when your every whim isn’t met.
How to know if your dog isn’t into it:
They move away from the dog or try to stand behind you-They cower or show stiff body language
They anticipate rude behavior so they look poised to defend themself if needed
They roll over, but isn’t wagging their tail and look like they are being held hostage
They pin their ears and leap at the other dog because they have already done something rude or disrespectful and they want to get in front of a potentially dangerous situation
How to know if your dog is the one being rude:
They barge up to another dog, pulling on the leash and not pausing a foot away to display polite body language and determine if the other dog wants to have the interaction
They put their body over another dog, usually their neck, somewhere above the other dog’s body or a paw on the dog’s back.
They look like they are going to hump
They have stiff body language, raised hair,perked ears, an intense stare and their tail is raised and wagging like a metronome, also stiffly
They sniff the other dog to their heart’s content, beyond when the other dog looks uncomfortable (A good rule of thumb, is asking your dog to disengage after 3 seconds of sniffing)
They don’t disengage - an important part of any greeting is to pull back, look away, or in some way see if the other dog wants to continue the interaction or move away
They bark at another dog out of excitement or frustration - not a great introduction!
When your dog goes to greet, glance at the human, but mostly have your eyes on the dogs to read the vibe and their body language. Be ready to step in or pull your dog away at the slightest sign of anything going awry.
Granted, being an expert in reading dogs, that is more intuitive for me than most people. By watching dogs and seeing what behavior or postures lead to what outcomes you will start to know when it’s better to pull out or pass on an interaction.
If you get a bad feeling or you are unsure, don’t be afraid to be rude! Your dog’s comfort and safety should come first.. I don’t be afraid to, as nicely as possible, tell someone that your dog is older, unpredictable around other dogs, doesn’t like puppies, is tired, or just not in the mood to greet another dog.
If someone doesn’t understand that, that is on them. It’s a reasonable ask! You may hear “oh, he just wants to say hi” or even, worst case scenario “why do you have him out, then?” It would be uncool, if for instance,they were to ask why you are in public, when you went to a coffee shop to work, but didn’t want strangers distracting you - if then The truth is most owners just don’t know any better.
Unfortunately bad behavior is most of what you will witness out in ‘the wild.’ With a lack of knowledge and rose tinted glasses, it’s hard for anyone to believe that their beloved dog is anything short of perfect. That’s okay! But still get outta there.