How to make human friends (so your dog can be your dog!)

“My dog is my best friend.”

This is something that I hear all the time. It is certainly something that I thought and said over my early years of dog ownership. After I lost Harley, the word I would use when I talked about her was not friend, not baby, but “dog.”

She was my dog.

The most wonderful thing she could be.

I’ve never had a relationship like the one I had with my dog. In my life, I've had a lot of friendships and that word, while warm and intimate, doesn't capture the unique depth and connection of the relationship with my dog.

She was my companion. 

She was my charge: a little life that I was wholly responsible for.

She was my teacher and inspiration for learning and healing.

She was another heartbeat in the room when I was alone.

I understand why people call their dog their friend, but I'd like to challenge this concept because it’s actually bad for dogs when we call them a friend and try to put them into this human role.

To want a close friend or a best friend is an appropriate and natural human need that we have to find human ways of meeting. Our love for our dog and the intimacy we feel with them is a taste of what is possible in connection with others, but it doesn’t put a check in the box of the friend category for us. 

Because we don't speak the same language as our dogs, they can appear to be a perfect friend.

We can imagine they think how we would want them to think and feel how we want them to feel. The misunderstandings with our dogs are easy to ignore, while in our human relationships misunderstandings abound, wound, and disrupt.

What I wanted to share in this article is something that we as adults think we should know how to do, but actually don’t: how to make a friend.

Because I moved so much as an adult and because I changed so much once I settled down in Austin, making friends is something I got good at. The more confident I felt about my ability to make friends, the easier it was to let go when a friendship had gone sour, stale or wasn’t quite right.

Step 1: Learn to be alone

Just like with dog training, the friend making process starts a few steps back from where we would think it would. The first step is to be comfortable being alone. If I'm making friends to have company for company's sake, to distract myself or numb from pain or hurts I'm not ready to deal with, the motivation is ‘away from.’ I’m moving away from boredom, away from pain, away from an internal question about whether I am likable or worthy. When I do that, I enter the terrain of the hungry ghost. No matter how much I eat, I will never be full because I am nourishing my avoidance. 

Before we can truly “be” with anyone we have to learn to be alone. When I started a 12 step program years ago I was confronted with the reality of how much anxious energy I was putting into pursuing people who I didn’t really like that much and who weren’t returning the effort, energy or interest in me. This wasn’t good for me - I didn’t know I deserved better than that. I was scrounging for social crumbs because I didn’t want to be alone. Any action driven by anxiety will be a temporary fix.

Exercise:

Instead of compulsively filling your schedule or making plans with people who don't truly fill your cup and leave you feeling better than you would otherwise, schedule time alone. In The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron suggests taking yourself on a date once a week. You can plan something that you enjoy doing, but rarely get around to, have always wanted to explore, or enjoyed as a child. You could also block out a few hours and leave the window open for spontaneity. 

When we learn to enjoy our own company we can approach relationships from a place of grounded desire, not anxious lack.

Step 2: Get to know yourself

This time alone is vital to get to know yourself. Solitude is necessary to know who you are and the truth of that is ever changing. Many of us develop a concept of our personality and preferences that we experience as being static. The people in our lives can reflect back to us who we were. They even may not want us to change because it would point out to them the ways they don’t, won’t, or haven't.

Exercise:

In your time alone, journal and daydream. Allow yourself to surprise yourself. Instead of referencing a premade checklist, go into your body, connect to your inner compass and at each small crossroads throughout the day, ask yourself what do I want right now? When you choose your choice, pause and see how it feels in your body.

Hold the phone before you call someone and see if your internal thermostat rises or falls. When you get to the coffee shop, look at the menu instead of placing your regular order to see if anything unexpected jumps out at you. When you dine out, listen to the specials. When you shop, see what tickles your fingers before your mind can assess it. Try something you are sure you don’t like again just to see if that is still true.

Once you have a read on this internal navigation system, let that be your guide in your relationships. The answers you get may surprise you!

Step 3: Update your friend list

In order for something new to come into our lives we need to leave space to fill it. For many of us, our social dance card is full, but we still don’t feel fulfilled and connected in the way we want to.

It is a little accepted truth that somehow, without our awareness, the people who add the least or take the most of our energy and vitality somehow take up most of our time. I find the people who bring the most value are the ones I'm reluctant to call. This isn't to say that we should be selfish and only engage in friendships where we are learning, growing or benefiting. There is huge value to being of service to someone in need. This is to say that it takes extra awareness and dedication to make sure that the five people we spend the most time with are ones that encourage us to grow and open us up to better versions of ourselves.

A few years ago I found myself saying yes to plans I knew I didn’t have desire or time for. I wanted to say yes so it wouldn’t be awkward, but I didn’t like that I was out of integrity and letting people down. That was exactly who I never wanted to be, but my social plate was too full. I was maintaining the relationships out of habit or a desire for continuity instead of paying attention to who was really lighting me up and filling my cup. 

I made a list of everyone I knew from text messages, social media platforms, and photos. I dug up lost connections that I wanted to revive.  I listed each name, divided everyone by category, and then marked each with an emoji. 

❤️ Inner circle 

⭐️ Close friend 

✅ Friend 

🟣 Acquaintance 

I moved these on to a sheet I printed out with three concentric circles. The center is my inner circle, my absolute closest friends. This group should be no more than five. Next was my close friends, the people that I wanted to talk to regularly. The largest circle was for my friends, the people I wanted to stay in touch with, but didn't need to be in touch with regularly. Everyone who didn't make one of those three groups was an acquaintance who I would be happy to see when I saw them, but didn’t need to keep up with.

Admittedly this process felt a bit brutal, but it was necessary. It felt good to be honest with myself. There were a few times I had to go back and downgrade someone who I needed to admit I didn’t need to be putting as much time and energy into as I was.

Exercise:

Assess your current relationships with family and friends. Figure out who is most important to you to be close to so you know that it’s important to invest your time and energy into those relationships. Allow the ones that don’t fulfill you to fade away for now. You don’t need to have any conversations about it or cut anyone out of your heart. This list will flow, but it’s important to know what’s true for you right now. Just like cleaning out your closet, this exercise may be easy to put off, but will feel so good to have completed.

Step 4: Values

I know you're probably wondering when we will get to the part where we actually get to make friends. It’s coming. Unless I go through the foundational work, I find the results of my efforts will be similar to the ones I am currently getting.

Many of us have a vague ideal of what’s important to us, but never actually clarify. Once we understand our values they can be our guide.

Exercise:

Journal on what is most important to you.

What qualities are important to you in the people you spend time with?

What qualities do you want to develop? 

What qualities or values do you most like about yourself? 

And who are the friends who bring those out in you?

What are your favorite hobbies or interests? 

What's one you let go of that brought you joy and you'd like to pick back up?

How about a list of five things you always wanted to try?

Go through your list of friends again with this in mind and see if you'd like to make any changes. We may have an old friend who doesn’t bring out the best in us. Perhaps someone we’ve known for a long time doesn’t behave in integrity, but we’ve gotten used to it. Maybe a friend is good at something we want to learn or makes time for something we wish we did more of, like classes, volunteer work, gardening or the arts. A person you love teases you in a way that leaves you feeling depleted. A friend of a friend always builds you up and you have been wanting to get closer to them, but haven’t had the energy. The time to switch things up is now!

Step 5: Find the like-minded

My interests have expanded, contracted, and changed over time. While inertia and habit would have me stay the same, as enjoyable as anything is for a while, it tends to grow stale. I go numb to it or it becomes a chore. 

Maybe something I used to love doesn’t fill my heart in the way it used to. Sometimes I get bored dabbling and need to take lessons to get better or join a group to do it more regularly.
In the past my ego has prevented me from trying new things because it couldn’t stand to be bad at something during the learning process. Whatever you choose first, be sure to bring your humility along. It isn't easy to be bad at something as an adult. With anything new, the truth is you can’t be bad at it, you just haven't learned to do it yet.

Ideally a hobby or activity is a regular part of your recreation time. For our purposes right now we are looking for something that can be done in a group or has a social aspect.

On your solo dates you may have found something you want to learn or pick back up. Now that you are in touch with your inner compass you may have learned you want to take a break from something you thought was a part of who you were.

Exercise:

Picking up something new can feel daunting. It takes effort to find an opening to a new activity in our area that fits with our schedule. Between the hobbies and interests you want to explore or pick up again, the ones you currently have and love, and the ones you are interested in trying, but never have, pick five to 10. Make three that a priority and leave the others to explore over the year. 

Start with one and search for what is going on in your area. I've had success in regional or activity-based Facebook groups, on meetup.com or searching for classes in my area. Don’t worry about choosing wrong - the only thing you stand to waste is a little bit of time and money. Every “miss” is a step closer to finding what you love doing and building relationships with people who also love doing it that you can share that activity with.

Step 6: Be unabashedly bold 

We can struggle to think of ourselves as someone in need of friends because it feels desperate. The truth is there are many other people who are just like you, seeking connection, but perhaps embarrassed to put themselves out there for exactly this reason. We think that as an adult friends should be a checkbox that we have already filled in. Part of our self worth is based on having people who like us. Because our social world, like ourselves, is constantly evolving, making friends is an ongoing process.

I have made more new friends by doing things alone than with friends. Yes, it's a little bit awkward at first, but if I can push through that, doors open. I project an open and friendly energy when on my own in public, one that is warm and inviting. If I can get over my shyness or self judgment about having to debase myself thus and introduce myself to strangers, I have found, by and large, people are receptive. 

I have posted in Facebook groups or on Instagram asking if anyone wants to meet up for an activity. I’ve posted in interest groups, asking if anyone in my area wants to get together and engage in said interest together. I’ve started groups when there wasn’t one and community grew into the hundreds after I got the logistical jump on it. 

Be bold.

Be shameless.

The potential cost of momentary embarrassment is well worth the connection. You have the possibility of creating. When I put myself out there, I never know who can come into my life. It doesn't happen every time but the times when it does happen makes it worthwhile.

Exercise:

Whenever you are in public, in line at a coffee shop, waiting for a drink at a bar, or doing an activity, practice talking to someone. Look around the environment and say something you are thinking out loud. If someone doesn’t pick up what you lay down, that’s okay! This is an exercise in putting yourself out there, not in how you are received. The more practice you get being you and sharing that with those around you, the more likely you are to find those who are going to resonate with you. 

Post in a group and ask strangers if they want to meet up. Ask someone at an activity for their number and reach out to make plans. Think of this early phase as just shaking off the awkwardness around putting yourself out there.

Step 7 Give it time and keep your chin up

It is important to not expect an immediate result. You may not strike gold right away, but no prospector does. If you want a treasure you have to be prepared to go on the hunt.

Looking at your calendar and make sure each month you have left: 

Time for yourself

Time for activities you enjoy, ideally social ones

Time to connect with your inner circle 

Time for a new activity 

And time to explore new relationships

Unfortunately, if you are not intentional in this process it is not likely to happen on its own.

At first these changes will feel a little bit forced and awkward, but that's okay. If you are not accustomed to spending time alone, let it feel weird. When that lonely, anxious, stir crazy feeling comes over you do your best to make space for it without acting on it. Something magical is just underneath those knee jerk reactions if we can wait them out.

This is a skill we are trying to teach our dogs. We don't want to be driven by impulse. We want to be able to steer our own ship.

As you build new friendships, make sure you make time to water them. New relationships take a little bit more effort while they are in the exploratory or bonding phase. If you haven’t made a new friend in a while, this can feel like a lot of work, but it’s worth it. Connecting will get easier the more you try. Find the balance of giving a connection a chance to bloom, but not forcing something that isn't the right fit.

Exercise:

Be intentional and write down the names of one or two people you want to get closer to. Make sure you check in weekly and make plans at least monthly. If the person can’t commit or isn’t receptive, move on. You aren’t trying to build a fan club, you are trying to find your people. Quantity is the enemy of quality at this stage.

Step 8: Navigate difficult moments

No matter the quality of the connection, the path is never without bumps. If it was, that connection is probably superficial. Expect budding relationships to fade away. Find the balance between trying to revive them and redirecting yourself to other more vital connections. 

Expect to say the “wrong” thing or for someone else to. If you have erred, apologize. If you think someone is pulling away, reach out and ask. If someone said or did something small that hurt or offended you and turned you off, practice gently bringing it up. If they respond defensively when you were being vulnerable, take that as an indication of where they are at, not of the value of your feelings or sharing.

Healthy relationships are not ones without conflict, they are ones that can healthily navigate conflict.

Exercise:

When something comes up for you or when it seems to come up for someone else, practice bringing it up in a timely, soft and vulnerable way. This doesn’t always go well, no matter how perfectly you word your feelings, but these moments of conflict are vital for real connection to grow. 

In conclusion…

The warm intimacy and love we feel for our dogs is an inspiration for what we want to feel in our relationships, but it should not be the final destination. The more I fill my social cup with human friendships that challenge and fulfill me in a human way, the more space I have for my dog to be exactly what they are: a dog. Honestly, I can't imagine anything that is better than that.

How to change your life with the 'wait' command

One of the absolutely most important things to teach a dog is the ‘wait’ command. It means ‘pause until further instructions.’ Not only is this command insanely useful, it does a few important things for your dog’s mentality. Wait:

• teaches your dog to down regulate - to go from an excited state to a calm one.

• builds the understanding that your dog needs to ‘calm down’ in order to get what they want.

• reminds your dog that activities and privileges happen on your terms and you aren’t a butler who exists just to cater to them.

• helps them build self control so they have a stockpile for when you really need it in more exciting situations.

• reinforces the mindset a good teammate would have, one that is patient and considerate, like how if we were going somewhere together and I asked you to wait, I’m sure you could happily pause for a moment for me unless you are very self centered or a toddler.

Here are the scenarios I use a ‘wait’ command and it does so so much more than just make the activity involved easier. It builds the relationship we want with the dog we want and opens doors to the expanse of their experience as they will be able to move through the world with you comfortably.

Down Regulation

Down regulation is the process by which we go from an excited state to a calmer one, usually incrementally, as if going down a flight of stairs, step by step. When my dog is excited, instead of continuing what we are doing, I pause and embody the calm energy I want them to join me in. I don’t want to wait for a perfunctory three seconds until my dog pauses long enough for me to feel I’ve checked the training box then hurry on to the task before they break the wait because they weren’t really calm. I want to wait until I can feel or see a noticeable shift in my dog’s energy. I want to wait until my dog starts asking ‘are we ever going to go? Are we going to live at this threshold for the rest of eternity?

Luckily dogs are very present so this doesn’t take too long. Once I see my dog start to ask questions, it means their thinking brain is online and now I have a dog I can work with. An impulsive, pushy, jumping, whining, fidgeting excited dog is one who is going to ignore my light cues and might end up getting yelled at. Eek. No one wants that. When my dog lands at the bottom stair of calm, I call what I’m looking for a surrendered state, which is very soft and peaceful. I don’t want a dog that is submissive, that’s no fun. I want a dog that is surrendered, one who is okay if we do, okay if we don’t, okay now, and okay later.

The ability to go down those internal stairs quickly is contingent on how often down regulation is practiced. The more you practice pausing in excited moments - and staying still until you get a full shift to a calm energy, the faster your dog will be able to navigate that internal process in truly exciting moments out in public with lots of novelty and stimulation. If you don’t have the practice of calming down in your routine, trying to get it at the park when other dogs are around is medium hopeless and ultimately unfair to your dog. Like putting a second grader in high school, they are destined to fail.

Wait Protocol:

Embody calm

Want your dog to be calm? It starts with you. Even though you are focused on my instructions and making these shifts, try not to get tense because you dog will respond to that. Take lots of deep breaths and audibly sigh a few out. Do a body scan and relax your muscles. Feel your feet heavy on the floor and feel into the groundedness of your body. You want to feel like you are made out of marble and is also as soft as a feather pillow. After all, there is no hurry really. This is one of the times we really get to be there for our dog by just being there. Patience is key. What helps me stay out of a tense, goal oriented mindset is knowing that there is no failure unless you quit! Don’t be annoyed at your dog in their learning process. It will take as long as it takes. Practicing inconsistently is what makes it take longer. Not everyone in the house on board? That’s too bad, but your dog can absolutely make these skills handler specific - don’t let them fool you! They are smarter than we think.

Don’t stare at your dog

The problem with holding your dog with eye contact is that when you break it, they will break the wait. I need to be able to glance around , especially when opening the front door or car door to keep my dog safe. Holding eye contact is a cheat because they think they only need to stick with the wait as long as I’m staring at them. I want my dog to settle when I ask them to settle no matter where I’m looking. If you would only work when your boss was staring at your screen you probably wouldn’t keep your job. Raise that bar and be mindful of where you are staring.

Ignore the dog

Shift your attention away from your dog. Let them know that being excited is not the way to get attention or make things happen. Point your feet and/or turn your torso away, look several feet away, keeping your dog in the corner of your eye. Take a few steps away. If this doesn’t work, you can go back to what you were doing before and drop the offer all together for now.

Apply pressure

And it needs to be a type of pressure they don’t enjoy. Relaaaaaax, it’s super gentle. Things I don’t enjoy happen daily, especially when I’m being a dick, and I’m okay. I survive discomfort and they will, too. The more of a calm and thoughtful dog you have, the lighter these cues can be. Dogs who are in more of a frantic, unfocused, impulsive mindset generally may take a bit more discomfort to get on board, but these exercises will help make a big shift for them.

A correction can look like saying ‘eh-eh’ or another ‘no’ sound. It can be waving your hand at the dog or some other repetitive motion in their direction, like bending a knee towards them, marching your feet in place, giving a hard stare with pointed eyes, saying their name and/or ‘quit’ in a sharp tone, bending your torso to a different angle. It ca be as subtle as tightening your core muscles and directing a serious energy at your dog - like the energy you cultivate when you feel like someone is about to push in to a long line in front of you. As long as my dog is doing something I don’t like, it’s my job to make sure something they don’t like is happening and that the vibe sucks. The moment they stop, the pressure stops and the vibe improves!

When we begin, you may have to be quite loud with your voice, body language and energy in order to break your dog’s focus and get it back on you. That may look like a loud ‘Hey!” or moving into your dog’s space or giving some touches on the leash, always being sure to release the pressure then reapply it as needed. When a dog is very activated, you will have to be very loud in order to get your dog to hear you. Once you have your dog’s attention, you can quiet down again and show them what you’d like. This is called pressure and release. When your dog is making the wrong choice, apply pressure. When they find the right answer and you like what is happening, release the pressure so they know that staying calm instead of getting excited is the way to keep things feeling good.

Change the subject

If my dog is struggling to shift into a more patient mindset I’ll give them some brain exercises to do. I’ll ask for basic commands they have practiced to give them another job than being amped. I may walk shapes if the leash is on, asking for a heel and for the attention is takes to stick with me. We are about to go from a tight square to a figure 8 to zig zags and you better be paying attention or your toes may get squished! It’s your dog’s job to stay focused on you during the walk and most dogs I see out walking are unemployed and all the worse for it.

Forget it

If you can’t get your dog to settle, drop it. Definitely don’t let them get the thing they want and you should go back to doing something boring and ignoring them. This is the time we need to put in to training, so even if it isn’t the most convenient for your schedule today, know that once this clicks for your dog it won’t take as long moving forward. This is just the beginning of them learning what works and what doesn’t and it’s well worth sticking with it.

I call this ‘dog led’ training, which means that, in a sense, my dog gets to decide what we do! At any time they can calm down or stop being rude and we can move forward with life. If they can’t or won’t, welp, I guess we aren’t doing that thing right now! Once they get that you are always going to insist on calm attentiveness, especially at transition points, they will get on board pretty fast. The more consistent you are the better!

What does calm look like?

A calm dog isn’t necessarily one that is sitting. I’ve seen plenty of dogs sitting who are definitely not in any way calm and more like a tight coil about to spring. I actually prefer a waiting dog to be standing because it shows me that they are truly using mental effort to keep their feet from moving. Sitting can be kind of a cheat!

A calm dog will have a more grounded energy. Generally, their ears will be soft and down. Their body won’t be stiff. They will level down from standing to sitting to lying over time. Their tail will be still or in a long, slow, focused wag. If their energy was being measured by a wave meter you want to see long low loops, not short, sharp ones. They may be panting from the exertion of self control, but this will stop over time or as they settle in that moment. The more you practice tuning in, the more sensitive you will get to the quality of your dogs energy. We love our dogs so much, being connected this way is a beautiful thing and another layer of depth in the relationship that most owners never get to experience.

Here are the top exciting scenarios and my techniques for bringing the ‘wait’ command in

Going out the door for a walk

We like to say, the walk begins when the leash goes on, but really it begins the moment you decide to go for a walk. While the walk is the main event of a dog’s day, if we amp them up because we think it’s fun to be a part of their excitement, we are doing our dog and our walk a disservice. Remember, the reason I’m so successful with dogs is that I ask them to stay in a calm, thoughtful mindset. At every stage of the walk process I will pause or rewind if my dog gets overly excited.

If your dog is too excited in the house, you are setting them up to have a mess of a walk and, personally, I don’t like making myself miserable. Sometimes all it takes is standing up at a certain time of day for your dog to know it’s go time. From the process of grabbing the leash, to putting it on, to walking down the hall, to opening the door, have the riddle for your dog be getting you to keep moving forward with the process. The solution? Being calm. Put down a leash if your dog won’t calm down when you pick it up. Hold a leash for a few minutes instead of putting it on dog that is leaping around or trembling in place. Stand upright and turn away if your dog is chattering, vibrating in place, dancing around or moving when you bend to put it on.

If your dog is pulling down the hall, turn around and play a game of warmer and colder, moving deeper into the house or doing laps around the living room when they pull. Guess what? You are walking your dog for steps and mental engagement, not distance. Laps down the hallway are just as good for my purposes as going outside, it’s only my dog that suffers, but a little suffering is a good motivator to figure our sh*t out!

Once you get to the door calmly without pulling, ask you dog to wait behind you, not between you and the door, by giving a stop sign with your hand and body, saying the wait command, and doing a touch on the leash. If your dog walks forward, take a step back towards them to push them back where you wanted them. Sometimes just leaning towards them or shifting your weight should be enough.

Start by touching the doorknob enough for it to make the clicking sound but not open. This sound alone is the first excitement test and you may need to reset your dog. Staring at the floor between the dog and the door so you can see both will help you notice your dog’s activation. As you open the door slowly, if your dog pushes forwards or gets excited, close it again. Redo the hall walk if you have to. Your dog will figure out that truly staying calm is the way to make the door open.

Think if it like doggie meditation. If we had smart cars that could wait until we zen out a bit to start the ignition think what a pleasure driving would be! Not only are you doing your dog a favor and setting the right tone for the walk, they are getting a mental workout and learning to become the calm, thoughtful teammate you will love walking and working with.

Letting company in

Comings and goings in the home are exciting times for dogs. When a dog barks and runs up to the door, barges up to, or jumps on our guests, smelling them and demanding to be pet we usually say ‘oh, that’s just what dogs do!” Then we or our guests reward them with the attention they seek while in the overly excited energy than undermines so many of our training goals. In a sense that is true. I call that ‘the standard dog package.’ Unless we teach our dog otherwise, that is how they are inclined to behave in such a moment. This behavior is so ubiquitous people are used to it, even thinking the dog is excited to see them and taking it as a compliment, rewarding the behavior and ensuring it’s continuity. However, guests with small children, those with injuries, people who are scared of dogs, or are just not dog people will not look forward to coming to your home or even refuse. I know plenty of people who cite an unruly and annoying dog as the reason they won’t go see certain friends.

By guiding your dog, showing them what you want from them in those exciting moments, and ensuring that that becomes the norm through repetition and correction, it’s possible for your dogs to be excited AND still be polite. This moment also provides a perfect opportunity to practice two important concepts ‘impulse inhibition’ and ‘down regulation.’ This means that your dog will be asked to exercise the muscle of self control to help themselves resist engaging in undesirable behaviors as well as practicing going from a very excited state to a calm one.

Usually, when the doorbell rings, we are in a huge rush to get to the door and don’t think about taking a moment to address our dog or use this as a training opportunity. While you work on your dog’s door manners, I recommend asking friends to text or call you when they park, as I do with my clients. I also recommend putting a sign on your door that says, “please give us a moment to answer, we are training our dog.” The more consistent you are, the less time it will take to establish a new norm for greetings.

When you hear the doorbell, call out “one moment” and put your attention on your dog. When you start out teaching good door manners, you will need to put your dog on leash every time the door opens, ideally before the ring or knock. Every time. This is something that is 100% within your control and you are doing your dog a disservice by giving them more freedom than they can handle. Holding your dog’s collar is physically holding your dog back. It’s a way of managing the behavior in that moment, but doesn’t deter it in the future or show your dog what you do want from them. If you find yourself regularly fussing at your dog, but haven’t taken the steps I describe below, isn’t a fair dynamic. They need to have the rules explained and enforced before they can have done anything ‘wrong.’ Read over these notes and imagine how you will apply this system so you will have a plan in place before someone comes over. Literally visualize the process! It’s a huge, huge help.

Begin by asking your guests to text you when they park and have a note on your door that you are training your dog and it may take you a moment to answer. Leash your dog before opening the door every damn time until they have a 90% success rate at calm, polite greetings. If your friend texted to let you know they parked, sit on the couch as if you don’t know anything is about to happen. Verbally or with touches on the leash, let your dog know they are not to bark at the sound of a knock or the doorbell. Shift their focus off the sound and on to you in a way that lets them know you find that response undesirable. Since dogs will always bark at a sound that indicates someone is entering their domain, my rule is that it’s alright if they bark, but once I say stop, they have to stop. Super fair and leaves room for the ‘dog to be a dog’ element.

Approach the door slowly, ideally in a heel with a loose leash, keeping yourself between your dog and the door. Take a few laps down the hallway if necessary, the people outside will survive the wait, they have phones to play with. Ask your dog to stop a few feet back from the door with a verbal cue like ‘wait’ and hand signal or a little pulse on the leash. If they push forward in the door opening process, put them back behind the line you drew in your mind. Feel free to make an actual line with tape if that would help! If you don’t make it clear to your dog you want them to stop, it is natural that they will keep following you all the way up to the door, so this is an important communication on the part of the handler. With your dog locked in place, take a step forward, putting yourself between the dog and the door. With your arms fully spread the length of your wingspan, one arm open back towards the dog and the other arm open to the door knob, pulse on the leash and say ‘wait’ again since we know that hands on door knobs are exciting. Slowly open the door, closing it again if your dog barges forward.

When the door is open, start walking backwards into the house and ask your guests to follow you and come in. Walking with your dog into the house lets them know that asking them to walk with you is more important than concerning themselves with the new person. Yes! This is an important perspective flip! As long as you are meeting your dog’s need for physical and mental stimulation, your guests don’t need to be a high point or pass time for the dog. Your guests are entertainment for you!

Communicate that you are working on door manners and your guests won’t mind, I promise. Be sure to ask your company not to look at, talk to, or touch your dog and to act as if the dog isn’t there. Yes, this will be a disappointment to your dog loving friends. Yes, I know training humans is hard, but insist on it. If they interact with your dog, even by looking or talking at a distance it will make your dog’s task of staying calm much harder. Don’t let anyone punk your pet like that!

Your guest can say hello later on once your dog gets used to them and settles down. The truth is dogs don’t always greet like we do, sometimes they just enter the same space and subtly acknowledge each other - it’s humans who have trained them to greet excitedly because we love that someone is so excited to see us. A dog can smell you well enough, get used to your voice from across the house. There is no need for a direct greeting interaction and I promise their feelings will not be hurt.

Be sure to stay far enough away from your guests that even if the leash was at extension, which it shouldn’t be, it would be impossible for your dog to get close enough to touch or jump on them. If you dog can’t settle, keep walking shapes or simply standing with them across the room while your guests sit. When your dog calms down, sit on a chair away from the couch or on corner of the couch, asking your dog to stay to your side with the leash over the arm of the couch instead of on the couch, leaning or sitting on you, between your legs, under a coffee table or between the couch and coffee table. My rule is that when human legs are using the space, a dog isn’t allowed to walk between the couch and coffee table. There’s plenty of room on the other side to commute around the house!

Guide your dog to stay in the bubble where you want them to land with verbal cues or leash touches, but resist the temptation to ask them to sit or lay down. By using commands you are trying to help your dog get into a calm position possibly faster than they are ready to regulate to. I let a dog settle themselves down by staying in the zone I set for them and away from my guests. When your dog has fully regulated, they will lie down, sometimes lick or sigh, and maybe even nap.

After your dog has calmed down and is lying peacefully, drop the leash to test their state. If your dog leaps up to go greet the guests, they weren’t truly regulated and on board with the ‘don’t greet’ program, which is okay! You will learn over time to read their energy more acutely and they will learn to stay chill. If your dog is regulated and no longer fixated on greeting, now is when you can ask your guest to put a hand down and see if your dog can calmly give them a sniff and get a scratch, staying out of their personal space and off their body and coming back to you and their bubble when you ask.

Unloading from the car

Our dogs sit in the back of the car, whether that is the backseat or the very back of a hatchback. This is for safety, self regulation, as well as impulse inhibition. My dog needs to do their job of being calm and having the self control to not jump up to me, the windows, run side to side or bark at distractions. Hooking a leash around a headrest can help teach your dog to stay put while you are driving, but I don’t recommend a crate if you want your dog to learn how to be in the car calmly. The crate will manage the problem, but it won’t help them learn how to be without it. Sitting in the backseat while someone else drives will also give you more training control at first if your dog is very unruly.

Part of being a good leader is putting yourself first. When you arrive at my destination, it doesn’t matter how excited they are, your dog needs to wait while you get yourself situated. Additionally, you don’t want to let an excited dog out of the car and reward that frantic and impatient energy by giving them what they want. The reward of launching into a new place will encourage that excited energy when you bark and set you up to have a rough start wherever you are. While you get yourself ready to go, say ‘eh-eh’ if your dog is excited, pacing, whining, or barking in the car. Your dog needs to learn that it is okay to be excited, but those are not okay ways of expressing that excitement. Meet a behavior you don’t like with a behavior they don’t like to disincentivize it. This may be different for each dog as well as in different situations or at different excitement levels, so try a few types of pressure. Simply sitting in the car and waiting is a good way to start any adventure, I promise! It’s a mental workout and opportunity to practice that down regulation I keep going on about.

Once you are ready and your dog is calm enough, start to open the door. You want your dog to wait at the edge of the seat so you can get their leash on and look around the area to make sure it’s a good time to exit. Before you unload be ready to ask your to sit and wait on a loose leash once they hop out. I draw a bullseye on the ground in my mind so I know where I want my dog to land and wait.  I say ‘wait’ or ‘easy’ as I open the door. If your dog looks like they are about to pounce or if they make any movement towards the door, I close it enough to make your dog hesitate or back up. “Wow! This door is SO weird! Whenever you move forward, it closes. Do you think that is related? Jeeze, maybe try sitting still and seeing if it opens all the way…”

That is an internal monologue, but your dog will get it from your energy - you want it to feel like this isn’t you being mean or strict, it’s the rules of car doors and you are just the messenger. Be careful not to talk to your dog more than is necessary. Keep tabs on your dog and only say “wait” when they look like the temptation to move forward is starting to cross their mind. It’s always easier to correct a thought than an action! Also, be sure not to hold your dog with eye contact. Look between your dog and the door instead of at your dog directly. Lastly, don’t use your body block the opening. If you are simply in the way, your dog isn’t doing the work of using self control to not jump out and that’s cheating. If that is what’s happening, the moment you move they will launch out. It’s important to step forward to block when your dog starts to move forward and then ease away a few seconds later when you feel your dog is locked in place. You can step back in if needed, but it’s their job to hold themselves in front of the open door.

When you have the car door open and feel that your dog understands they are meant to wait, pick up the end of the leash or step forward to put the leash on if it isn’t already. Again, you want your dog to be calm during this process. If your dog loses their composure, pull your hands away or turn away. “Uh oh, dogs that aren’t holding still don’t get their leash put on! This leash is funny like that… Oh no, now I’m turning away because you are too excited. If you want me to turn back, you better settle down.” This is how you teach your dog what type of energy gets rewarded and what energy moves them further from their goals and desires.

Once the leash is on properly and in your hand, step away from the car door, giving your dog room to make a mistake to be sure they aren’t staying just because you are in their way. This is a great moment to exercise a dog’s self control muscle that you don’t want to miss out on it. If they look like they are about to break or have that ‘race horse in the starting gate’ energy, I sigh, cock my hip to show I’m relaxed, give a little touch on the leash, and say, “gosh, we could be standing here forever!”

Many owners who want to practice a wait will pause, see that the dog’s body is still, then let them launch out. What we will be doing is paying close attention to their energy. The goal is to practice down regulation to get to the bottom landing of that excitement staircase where your dog sighs and says “gosh, we could be standing here forever!” That is a great mindset and the one that I wait for before I reward my dog by exiting the car. Only calm dogs get the good stuff. Really, calming down isn’t too much of a price to pay for the wonderful experiences we regularly go out of our way to give our dogs.

In conclusion

Imagine how different your outing would be if you took a moment at each threshold to wait for your dog to be totally calm? We ask for that calm wait before loading into the car, before unloading from the car, then we wait again on a loose leash after unloading. This regulates them in a new environment, putting the dog to work for you instead of allowing them to begin to look around and build excitement. It also allows you to close the door and lock your car before you start your walk.

The more you ask your dog to be in their thinking brain instead of the impulsive and instinctive brain, the easier it will be for your dog to get to that place in the future. Contrary to what you may think, this isn’t a waste of time that your dog could be exercising. The mental exertion it takes to engage their thinking brain and hold themselves back is exhausting, just like when you have a long, hard day at work and come home tired. Unlike running wild at the park or pulling you on a walk, this type of exercise is geared towards building the balanced dog you want.

The calmer my dog is, the more tuned in and sensitive he will be. This is where the term ‘dog whisperer’ came from! When you take the time to ask your dog to regulate, your dog can respond to incredibly subtle cues, such as a jingle on the leash, a sound like ‘shhh-shhh,’ a stern glance, or a shift of your weight in their direction. It’s amazing!! Having a picture in your mind of how you want those thresholds to look, holding strong to your boundaries, asking your dog to follow your cues to figure out what you’re asking for in those exciting moments, then only rewarding a calm mindset are all ways that you shape your dog’s mentality and create the dog you want.

How to unload from the car

If you follow us on social media, you know that our business began by taking a pack of dogs hiking on the trails every day for seven years. In order to keep a group of dogs calm and set the right tone for the hike, we are very deliberate about the way we unload our dogs when we get to the trail. This is just as important for your smaller pack or single dog.

 Here is a guide for you to practice at home with your dog.

Dogs in the back: Whether in the backseat or the very back of a hatchback, your dog should always sit in the back of the car. This is for self regulation, and impulse inhibition, as well as safety. Your dog needs to feel safe, be given the job of being calm, and have the self control to not jump up to you in the front seat.

• Hooking a leash around a headrest can help teach your dog to stay put while you are driving.

Put yourself first: Part of being a good leader is putting yourself first. When you arrive at your destination, it doesn’t matter how excited they are, your dog needs to wait while you get yourself situated. You don’t want to let an excited dog out of the car and reward that frantic and impatient energy with the reward of launching into a new place.

• While you get yourself ready to go, say ‘eh-eh’ if your dog is excited, pacing, whining or barking in the car.

  Your dog needs to learn that it is okay to be excited, but those are not okay ways of expressing that excitement.

Opening the Door: Once your dog is calm enough, start to open the door. 

• You want your dog to wait at the threshold so you can get their leash on

• Look around to make sure it’s a good time to exit, and be ready to ask them to sit and wait on a loose leash once they hop out. 

• Say ‘wait’ as you open the door. If they look like they are about to pounce or if they make any movement towards the door, close it, just enough to make your dog hesitate, and think to themself, “Wow! This door is SO weird! Whenever I move forward, it closes! I wonder if that is related? Jeeze, maybe I’ll try sitting still and see if it opens all the way…”

• Don’t Repeat: I don’t like to talk to my dog more than is necessary, but try to keep tabs on your dog and only say “wait” when it looks like the thought of moving forward is starting to cross their mind. 

- It’s always easier to correct a thought than an action!

•  Your dog with my eye contact: You do not want your dog to believe that once you break eye contact they are allowed to break and jump. 

- Try to look between your dog and the door instead of at your dog directly. 

• Don’t block the opening: If you are simply in the way, your dog isn’t doing the work. They are not using self control to hold themself back. 

- If that is the case, then the moment you move they will launch out. Instead it’s important to step forward to block when your dog starts to move and try to ease away when you feel your dog is locked in place.

Picking up the Leash: When you have the car door open and feel that your dog understands they are meant to wait, pick up the end of the leash or step forward to put the leash on. 

Again, you want your dog to be calm during this process. 

If your dog loses composure, start by pulling your hands away or turning away. Making your dog thing to themself: 

“When I don’t hold still I don’t get my leash put on! This leash is funny!… Oh no, now they are turning away because I’m  too excited!  Please, turn back! I’ll settle down!” 

This is how we teach our dog what type of energy gets rewarded and what energy moves them further from their goals and desires.

Getting out of the car: Once the leash is on properly and in your hand, step away from the car door, giving your dog room to see if they are staying just because you are  in their way. This is a great moment to exercise your dog’s self control muscle and you don’t want to miss out on it. 

• If they look like they are about to break or if they have that ‘race horse in the starting gate’ energy, sigh, cock your hip to show you are relaxed, and give a little ‘touch’ on the leash.

• It isn’t enough to pause, see that your dog’s body is still, then let them launch out.   

• Pay close attention to their energy. 

• Hold the space so your dog can do something that we call ‘down-regulating’ which is learning to build the skill of calming themself down. We go from extremely excited, to excited, to alert, to somewhat calm, to fully calm. The goal is to get to the bottom landing of that excitement staircase where your dog sighs and says “gosh, we could be standing here forever!” 

• That is a great energy and the one to wait for before you reward your dog by exiting the car. 

• Only calm dogs get the good stuff. Really, calming down isn’t too much of a price to pay for the wonderful experiences you regularly go out of our way to give your dog. 

Imagine how different your outing would be if you took a moment at each threshold to wait for your dog to be totally calm? 

Waiting when the leash goes on, at the front door, before loading into the car, before unloading from the car, then waiting again on a loose leash after unloading, allows  you to close the door and lock your car before you start your walk. It helps to set the tone for a calm walk as well as building a balanced, obedient mindset in general. 

The more you ask your dog to be in their thinking brain instead of their impulsive and instinctive brain, the easier it will be for your dog to get to that place in the future.

Contrary to what you may think, this isn’t a waste of ‘exercise’ time.. The mental exertion it takes to engage the thinking brain and hold themself back is exhausting, just like when you have a long, hard day at work and come home tired. Unlike running wild at the park, this exercise is geared towards building the balanced dog you want.

The calmer my dog is, the more tuned in and sensitive they will be. This is where the term ‘dog whisperer’ came from! If you take the time to ask your dog to down regulate, your dog will have the ability to respond to incredibly subtle cues, such as a jingle on the leash, a sound like ‘shhh-shhh,’ a stern glance, or a movement in their direction. It’s amazing!! 

Having a picture in your mind of how you want those thresholds to look, holding strong to your boundaries, asking your dog to follow cues to figure out what you are asking for in those exciting moments, and rewarding a calm mindset are all ways that you can shape your dog’s mentality and create the dog you want.

Summary

• My dog sits in the back seat

• I get ready to go before attending to them

• I ask my dog to wait in front of the open car door on a loose leash

• I ask my dog to sit and wait after we unload

How to correctly put on the Mendota slip lead

The Mendota 4’ x  3/8” slip lead is the only leash we use with our dogs and our clients. This leash is soft but strong, comfortable to hold, and, most importantly, can be positioned on a part of our dog’s neck that they will be most responsive to.

Most of us have tried a leash clipped to a collar, but dogs are comfortable pulling from the base of their neck and it can be harder to communicate with them through the leash. On the trails, or where there are high distractions, and possible threats, we don’t like fumbling around looking for the clip and hoping we don’t accidentally clip the leash to the ID tag ring.

We also don’t like using a harness because those aren’t really designed for walking dogs. Think of the animals that wear harnesses - they all do the same job. Carriage horses, plow oxen, and sled dogs all pull! Then we put a harness around our dog’s body and can’t understand why they pull on us. It is called opposition reflex, and well, we just made it comfortable for them! A harness also offers very little control over my dog. If something were to go wrong, my only move is to back up as quickly as I can because everything in front of my dog’s shoulders are in front of my realm of influence.

How about ‘no pull’ chest or face contraptions? They can help because they make it uncomfortable for my dog to pull. If I tied your shoelaces together, you would have a hard time walking. Once we put them back, you would go back to walking as you used to. Same with these devices. They may help in the moment, but instead of teaching a dog not to pull they simply temporarily disable them.

 The Mendota Slip Lead

Enter Mendota! We are not sponsored (I wish we were!), we just really love this leash. The 4’ leash is the perfect length - we don’t really want our dog more than 4’ from us in situations that require a leash and the 3/8” width is comfortable in our hands and allows us to talk to our dog because of the limited surface area. This leash is a game changer when it comes to teaching dogs the skill of loose leash walking or dealing with reactivity. We used to encourage our training clients to buy one, now we give them out at the first session!  The slip lead design gives us the security of knowing that there is no way for our dog to slip out of it the way they can with some collars and harnesses. The best part is supporting a great company. If the leash needs repairs, you can send it back to Mendota and they will repair and return it at no cost.

CORRECT PLACEMENT

To begin, make sure your dog is calm before you leash them. It takes a moment to get the leash positioned while you are still learning to put it on. Make sure the loop is large enough to fit comfortably over your dog’s head and hold the ring and leather stopper in one hand to be sure it doesn’t slip down and change shape as you are putting it on your dog.

Slip the loop over your dog’s head and keep it above the ID collar at the top of their neck. 

*Some dogs don’t like the motion of a hand going into their blindspot, so you may want to hold their collar with your other hand, helping to keep them still. 

*If you dog doesn’t love having the loop put on. Hold the loop in front of them and give them a treat as you move it towards them. One or two sessions of that and they will love the leash!

When I put the leash on, I make sure it is at the very top of their neck. Right behind the ears…

And right behind the jaw. The top of the neck is the most sensitive and I want to be able to touch lightly and get a response.

Keeping the leash in place, slide the leather stopper down. The stopper is supposed to be tight so it stays in place. You will get the hang of sliding it up and down.

Tighten the loop almost all the way, then circle your finger around your dog’s neck, making sure that all their hair is flush and any extra neck skin has been pulled down below the leash.

Now you can tighten the leash. After nudging it back up into position, high up on their neck, and right behind their ears and jaw, slide the stopper so it is snug. You want to be able to fit only one finger in the loop. 

If your dog is uncomfortable, you may have made the leash too tight. Pull the stopper back a fraction of an inch. Think of this leash like a belt, if it’s too loose it won’t do its job. You may have to stop along the walk to readjust, but putting it on properly is the best way to start.

When you are ready to take your leash off, pinch the leash on the far side of the ring. You don’t want to pull against your dog’s neck while you slide the stopper back.

Position your finger about 1” down from the ring to give yourself a little room to get your other hand between the ring and stopper. Sometimes it can help to fold the leash backwards on itself, exposing a bit of space to pinch.

Once you have your finger between the ring and leather stopper, drag your fingers backwards, towards the handle of the leash. The stopper is tight, so pinching on the other side will keep your dog comfortable. I like to put my fingers in front of the stopper, but you can also put them on the stopper or drag it with your fingernails.

In our training series we cover the cues we give to teach loose leash walking. Ideally, we can walk our dog with slack in the leash, keeping our dog’s attention and having them do the job of staying in a heel. 

Dogs that are fun to walk get walked more! It’s worth taking the time to teach this important skill.

You can order your Mendota leash and check out a few of our other favorite products here.

How to potty train your dog: a very thorough guide to housebreaking

Taking the time to properly housebreak your puppy is one of the most important things you can do! Whether from a breeder or from a shelter, it’s likely your dog has only had the experience of going potty inside or on man made surfaces. Transitioning to a new home is the perfect opportunity to change where your dog understands they are meant to use the bathroom. As is always my feeling with dogs, it’s easier to get out on the right foot than to make mistakes and spend time undoing them. 

Download our potty training sheet here.

• In the style of potty breaking I teach, if your dog has an accident, think of it as your fault versus theirs. Your puppy has no idea where they are supposed to eliminate. All they know is that when they have to go, the emptying of their bladder or bowels feels great! Mission accomplished. They walk away happy, leaving the mess behind where it doesn’t affect their life. Because housebreaking is something you need your dog to learn, it’s up to you to take the time and give your dog the guidance they need to get with the potty program.

How We Do It

-My program involves three different stages: Free time, Restricted time and Lock Down. After your dog potties, they get some free time in the house. When enough time has passed and I’m no longer positive that they are safe from potential accidents, I put them on restricted time. 

Restricted time can look like:

-Being in a puppy pen

-Tethering a leash to a heavy piece of furniture

-Looping a leash around your foot or wrist or clipping to a belt loop - known as an umbilical leash

-Being in a room with you if you can actively watch them - really watch them, not just sort of watch them while you focus on something else

-Or, going in their crate

Depending on where you are in building your dog’s bladder control, they can go out after free time or after a little while of restricted time. We are trying to build their bladder control, but not allow it to go past capacity. Having your dog in your sight while on restricted time will allow you to notice the signals of having to go and get your pup outside right away. 

If you are unable to watch your pup, go straight from free time to lock down in a crate until the next potty break! Two hours tends to be a good guide for most puppies, but adjust the timeline in accordance with their feeding schedule, water intake, vigorous play or waking up from a heavy nap. You should take your pup out after every big shift in energy.

How Do You Know If Your Pup Needs To Go?

A puppy won’t be able to cue you the way an adult dog may, so don’t expect a formal invitation from your dog to go outside. With puppies, start to go on alert when your dog:

-wakes up from a nap

-stops play

-starts to sniff or move towards carpet

-circles

-goes into a squat

-wanders into another room or around a corner

Do your best to preempt an accident by bringing your dog outside before anything can go wrong. Usually, if your dog does have to go and you bring them outside and cue the potty, they will go within a few minutes.

 How Long To Stay Outside

It can be tempting to stay outside until your dog goes, but this can be trouble in the long term. You want your dog to know that they only have a short window to use the bathroom instead of holding their bladder as leverage to stay outside longer. This can really get you in trouble when you are in a hurry to leave the house and need your pup to go so you can go. 

Limit each potty break to 5 minutes and keep poty walks under 15 minutes. If your dog doesn’t go, they can hang out in their crate and you can try again in 10 to 30 minutes. By keeping each break short, your dog learns that they need to take this chance to go or else they will be stuck with a full bladder. 

Getting With The Program

Potty training begins first thing in the morning. When you wake up, immediately take your dog outside. This will be known as zero hour. 

If possible, try to have your pup walk instead of being carried. This can be tricky in apartment complexes or anywhere that they will have a chance to squat and potty along the way. 

Leashing from the crate to the yard is a good idea to help your dog hustle outside without squatting in the house. You should always try to use the leash in pulses, giving your dog the opportunity to follow along of their own volition instead of dragging them with steady pressure. This will help your dog figure out that when they trot along with you, the pressure goes away and therefore encourages more of that behavior in the future.

Cue The Potty

Go outside with your dog and use your cue word to indicate this is the time to eliminate. I like ‘go potty’ because it has a unique cadence and can be said in a sing-song voice. 

Have your dog on leash, even in a fenced yard, because then you can touch the leash to encourage your pup to stay focused on the task and keep sniffing around to find a spot instead of looking around or sniffing the air or playing with a leaf or chasing a butterfly - you get it, puppies are cute. When you are on a potty mission, pinch the very tip of the leash handle and follow along with your dog, keeping the leash slack.  You want them to have the space to explore and find that perfect potty spot, as long as  don’t drag you or dive bomb into a smell,

How Much Is Enough

Your dog will likely pee first. Over time you will get used to how much your dog pees so you can tell if it’s a mark, a partial pee or a full bladder empty. Ideally, first thing in the morning, you get the full bladder. After the pee, reward your pup, but do it in a way that will allow them to stay focused on doing a full system empty and get a poo in, too. Not every dog wants to poo first thing in the morning. Give your dog 5-10 minutes of walking and sniffing around to have a chance to go.

When you go back inside, you should be pretty sure your dog is empty and won’t eliminate while you are feeding breakfast. If you suspect that your dog isn’t empty, keep them on restricted time when you come back in. This could mean being on the leash, in a crate or in a sectioned off part of the house, ideally without carpet.  If you feel confident your dog is empty, they can have free time! You want your dog to start associating going potty outside, with being free to have fun inside.

A Sample Schedule

7:00am Wake up

7:00-7:10 Outside, ideally pee and poo

7:10 Feed breakfast at this time

7:15 Take a trip outside right away

7:30-7:40 Another potty break if your pup didn’t go

7:40-8:40 Free time if empty or restricted time if he didn’t 

8:40 Potty break - record when he goes and what in your potty journal!

8:45-9:30 Free time

9:30-10:30 Restricted time

10:30-10:40 Potty break

10:40 - If he goes, free time, if not ask him to kennel up

10:55-11:00 Potty break, no potty

11:00-11:15 Kennel with water

11:15-11:20 Potty break, potty!

11:20-12:30 Free time!

Hopefully this gives you an idea of what to do. After a potty, your dog gets free time. When they are not 100% safe, they go on restricted time or go escorted outside. If they potty, great! Back to free time. If not, they should go in the kennel. We want your pup to associate not going potty when taken outside with being put in the kennel and going potty with getting to be free to have fun in the house!

Learning Your Pup’s Timeline

It takes time to learn your dog’s body language, cues, schedule and preferences. Don’t worry that it takes some time to get to know them. That is totally normal! The potty schedule will help you stay on track so you are giving your pup plenty of chances to go,and you are keeping them contained when you are worried they need to go, but haven't yet.

 Keeping a potty journal will help you see how often your pup is going so you can adjust your schedule to their current bladder capacity. Luckily, as your dog grows, so will their bladder and the space between potty breaks gets longer and longer. For your adult dog, you should try and get them out every 4-6 hours, after a nap, or after getting home if they exercised and drank while you were out.

Rewarding Potties

It’s a great idea to use treats, physical affection, and verbal praise to make going potty outside as fun and exciting as possible. This is a place where you can throw your dog a parade! Make going outside the BEST thing. 

It can be hard to grab a treat on the way outside, especially if you are in a hurry, so keep a sealed and hard-sided container of treats by the door. Ideally, you are putting a treat in your dog’s mouth within 3 seconds of when they finish going. If you don’t have a treat, praise, pet, and play with your voice, touch and energy. Getting low, making high pitched sounds, and running around while they join in are all happy and exciting. 

Punishing Accidents?

Dogs do not understand punishment, but dogs do understand an in-the-moment consequence. If you find an accident, do not rub your dog’s nose in it or bring them over and spank them. They won’t be able to put together that the bad part was before, when they created that mess. This is where your schedule with free time and restricted time comes in! It’s on you if they sneak off and got an accident in.

The best thing is to prevent any accidents and teach your dog right away going potty happens outside. The next best thing is if you can catch your dog in the act. If you see your dog going potty inside, you want to make it unpleasant and a little scary. The association with going potty inside should be a bad one. You want to run up on my dog quickly and loudly yelling “NOOOOOO” then scoop them up or lead them outside by the collar as fast as you can. If you were fast enough, they should still have some pee left and finish going outside, for which you will then reward them. 

Preventing Accidents

Your pup waking up, stopping playing or walking out of sight are all things that should set your alarm off to go watch them, call them back, or get them outside. It takes time to develop that sensitivity and sixth sense. 

Having a collar with a bell or a thin leash on in the house will help get your attention when your pup is on the move. 

Don’t leave your dog alone out of the crate. 

Pick up all rugs that can come up for at least a month or until your pup is pretty solid on being able to hold his bladder and knowing where the bathroom is. Rugs are great to go on because they absorb the urine, whereas hard floors splatter and spread onto your pup’s toes. 

Cleaning Accidents

The same way we know where the bathroom is because it’s the tiled room with porcelain furniture, your dog knows the bathroom by scent. This is why it’s important to clean pee stains by fully sopping up as much urine as you can with paper towels then soaking the area with an enzyme dissolving cleanser like Nature’s Miracle. It is very important to erase the potty smell so your dog doesn’t start to associate that spot with bathroom activities. Even poo stains need a scrub with Nature’s Miracle. Antibacterial spray is good, but it won’t dissolve all those enzymes and our dogs have much more sensitive noses than we do.

Using the Crate

Most crates come with a puppy divider to gradually increase the size of your crate as your dog grows. This is so your puppy doesn’t have a mansion of a crate where one corner can be the bathroom and they can walk to the other side to get away from their mess. 

Most dogs won’t want to mess where they sleep, so being in just enough space to spread out and lay flat is a good way to dissuade them from going in their crate. 

Again, if you find an accident after the fact, it’s too late to correct them for it. Just take them outside and wash the bedding. Dog bedding is a privilege, not a necessity. It can be a good idea to start with a cheap towel instead of jumping in with a luxury sheepskin crate pad right away. If you dog messes in the crate a few times, leave them in there with no bedding so there is nothing to absorb the pee. Just like how your dog happily naps on the floor, they won’t find a plain crate as offensive as we do. Bedding is a privilege they can earn by holding theri bladder in the crate. 

Limiting Water

It’s a good idea to monitor your dog’s water intake. For new puppies, limiting water in the evening to help them sleep through the night is very helpful. 

I advise doing a 3-meal schedule where dinner is fed around 5/6pm. Dogs need water to hydrate their kibble, so be sure that as your puppy eats they have full access to water for about an hour to an hour and half. After that, pick up the water, giving them three chances to drink before bed. Only let them have a few sips, the way you drink when you go on a road trip. 

While your puppy is housebreaking and crate training, you have to do what you can to help them gain bladder control. If your dog doesn’t know they will be contained for 6-8 hours while you sleep, they will drink to their heart’s content then need to go in the middle of the night. Limiting water will help them have a manageable amount in their bladder so they can start to sleep through the night. 

If you are worried they aren’t getting enough water, lifting the skin on the back of their neck is a good hydration test. If the skin quickly slips back into place, they are well hydrated. If it stays peaked and is slow to slide down, they need more water. Water restricting at night should not be dehydrating. Be sure you are finding the balance between enough water and too much water.

Visiting Friends

When going over to someone else’s house, it’s a good practice to ask your pup to go potty before going inside. An empty dog is a safe dog. It’s easy for a pup to sneak off in a new space. When you go somewhere new, close all the doors and keep your dog on-leash for a while. Your dog will learn that the way to get inside a new place is to go potty outside- then we go right in. This is a great association to make! We don’t go inside till you squeeze out a little potty.

Be careful of rugs, blind corners or hallways, and, as always, food, cat food, and litter boxes. 

If your pup doesn’t potty outside before going in, keep them on a leash in the house so they can’t wander off then go back out after 10-15 minutes. Just like with the crate at home, the way you earn your freedom is to go potty in the right place.

Bringing your pup over to a friend’s house with a healthy and polite dog who enjoys or tolerates puppies can be a great double hitter for socialization and potty breaking. Dogs will instinctively want to pee on another dog’s pee, so if the dogs play then go for a potty together, your puppy will likely copy the older, housebroken dog and go outside. 

Just like exercise, play gets the pipes moving, so be sure to take your pup out more often, especially if they are drinking more than usual.

Dog Doors

Dog doors are convenient, but often create a dog that isn’t fully housebroken. Just like a baby in diapers, a dog with a dog door never learns to hold their bladder because they can go potty whenever they want. If you move, if you board your dog, or if the dog door is closed, your dog likely won’t be able to hold their bladder. 

Dog doors also prevent you from knowing if and when your dog has gone. When first potty breaking, I recommend not using dog doors so you can go out with your pup every time and make note of what they do and when. There is always time to add on extras like dog doors later on, but for the initial potty training process, it’s important to avoid them.

Pee Pads

Pee pads are tough! Unless you live in an apartment and plan on using pee pads throughout your dog’s life, it’s better to not use them at all. 

When you bring your dog home, it’s important to create a distinction from the breeder or kennel they came from and their new life, where they only potty outside. 

While potty pads can be an easy option at first, they are a hindrance for long-term house breaking as it will be another hurdle weaning your dog off them when you eventually pick them up. 

They are unsightly, smelly, and, unless your dog has perfect aim, are prone to having pee spill off the edges. 

Pee pads are too similar to rugs, which we don’t want our dogs to potty on and create too much nuance between going ‘here’ inside, but not ‘there.’ 

Free Feeding

The way that dog’s stomachs are designed, grazing is particularly bad for them. Instead of leaving food down all the time, offer oury puppy 3 meals a day. Put the food bowl down for 15 minutes, saying “are you hungry?” then pick it up until the next meal. This will teach your dog to eat when food is down or else they will go hungry. 

Feeding on a schedule will also help you estimate when your pup is likely to poo. If your puppy can free feed, it’s hard to know when they will need to go out since you don’t know how much they ate and when.

Health Risks

It’s hard to balance the advice of your veterinarian and trainer. A vet will say that the risks of exposing your not fully vaccinated dog to the diseases that can be passed through the environment or contact with other dogs is not worth the risk. A trainer will say that the socialization and potty training dogs get in those first four to eight weeks at home is invaluable. Having a yard is a huge help in keeping your dog safe from environmental diseases. If you don’t have a yard, try to pick a quieter out of the way area where you can take your dog to potty.

Picking the best food for your dog

Try on this perspective on today’s dog food industry. Imagine if you woke up 50 years from now and your child was feeding your grandchild something called 'kid food,’ essentially cereal. Like today, there are many brands of cereal with different flavors and recipes and claims to nutrition and quality. So your child asks you what is the best 'kid food' to feed your grandchild, because the Kashi of kid food is the healthiest, but his child prefers the Frosted Flakes of kid food, which claims to have daily vitamins, but is full of sugar. You would think, “what the heck! Don't feed your kids that and only that. That isn't all kids are supposed to be eating!” This is the current state of dog food. Dog’s are not designed to eat a diet of only cooked food and all kibble is cooked. It also is augmented with filler ingredients other than animal protein that are not healthy for dogs to have a daily basis. While some people argue that they can digest it, therefore it’s an appropriate diet, to that I reply that just because I CAN digest McDonald’s, doesn’t mean I should, and certainly not on a daily basis.

Zoe switched to raw right after Haley joined the team and she never looked back

The modern concept of dog food began after World War II, before which dogs ate a combination of table scraps and scraps from the butcher. During this period, many pet dogs were put out during the day and allowed to wander, therefore, kill small prey or scavenge to supplement their diet. During WWII, tin was rationed, which put a stop to dog food canning. In an effort to keep factories productive after the war, dog food made from meat byproduct and cheap fillers that could be dried and bagged was the perfect answer to meet this commercial and industrial need. This type of feeding was easier and more palatable for pet owners, who traditionally don’t enjoy handling the raw meat and organs that dogs need. The smell of kibble has actually been scientifically balanced to find the perfect balance between a rancid enough to entice dogs and a palatable enough for humans to stomach and to keep in their homes.

The design of dog food has evolved to meet the desires of dog owners, which is now gravitating towards people’s limited knowledge of the benefit of raw food. Unfortunately, this lures owners with limited education into a false sense of doing what is best for their dogs. Unlike what the salesman at even the best pet store will tell you, raw food and kibble utilize very different digestive processes and should never be mixed. Not in the same day, not in the same diet, not ever. A proper diet must be only raw or only kibble, with canned food only being fed when prescribed by the vet for short term treatment of digestive issues or not at all.

How to tell if your food is good
Just like humans, a dog should be regularly having healthy, solid bowl movements. A dog’s stool is the best indicator of the quality of their food and how well it is agreeing with them. You don’t want your dog’s poo to be too large for the size of your dog, fluffy or soft (like frozen yogurt), uniformly shaped (like a sausage), stinky, acidic, frequent or too light or dark in color. The more fillers a dog food has, the more metabolically expensive it can be for your dog - the energy that it takes to digest and process their low quality food can negate it’s limited nutritional benefits. When nutrition is limited, a dog’s body will stop nourishing the less essential organs, such as eyes, ears, skin, and coat. When your dog has abundant nutrition, you will notice that their coat becomes incredibly soft and shiny, their ears cleaner.

Rules of thumb for buying kibble
Start at a pet store. If you can buy dog food at the grocery store, price will be cheap and the quality will be poor. Pet food should only be purchased at a pet store, ideally one that will take back a partially full bag as you try to find a food that is the right fit for your dog. Don’t be seduced into buying treats or raw toppers, those don’t align with my understanding of the canine digestive process. I don’t feed my dog any food outside of a full meal. Dogs are not designed to snack and one bite of food produces a meals worth of acid. Instead, dogs are designed to fast, eating only when they are able to kill or scavenge instead of on a regular feeding schedule. At all costs avoid any food with food coloring. Science Diet is the lowest possible quality and not only should you not purchase it, but you should avoid doing business with any vet who sells it as they value brand funding over your animal’s health. It is important to know that vets, just like pet store employees, do not receive a comprehensive education in nutrition. They will often caution against feeding raw because of the potential liability. To that I would counter that dog foods have had many recalls over the years, but how many recalls have there been for human grade chicken or other meats? While humans are protected from parasites and bacteria in meat by cooking our food, our dogs have stomach acid that is 10 times stronger than ours. The same way they can eat carrion that is beginning to decay and not get sick, they can eat raw meat in a way that isn’t safe for a human to do.

When feeding dry food, it is important not to free feed, leaving a bowl down all day and giving your dog a choice about when and how much to eat. Our dog’s stomachs are not designed to snack, but rather eat and fast. Because kibble isn’t an ideal food source, it make’s your dog’s stomach too acidic, requiring them to eat twice a day to keep their stomach bile at bay. We have all had a dog puke up foul smelling yellow foam if a meal is late. When you free feed, you create a stomach environment that is consistently far too acidic. There is nothing wrong with a dog skipping a meal and waiting until the next one! It’s natural for dogs to self fast and can be very healthy, the same way I skip meals or eat light some days. Free feeding has even been linked to a shorter life span. This is why I recommend leaving food down for 15 minutes then picking it up until the next meal, regardless of how much my dog eats. If your dog is chronically disinterested in their food, they don’t like it or it doesn’t make them feel good and you need to find a different one. Imagine if you had to eat a brand of cereal you hated for every meal and couldn’t communicate with your owner how much you didn’t like it? Best to err on the side of caution and transition to something different.

Kibble Recommendations

Open Farm (This is my number one choice and the brand I ask everyone to switch to if their food isn’t working)
•Instinct
•Merrick
•Merrick wild freeze dried raw infused
•Canidae
•Wellness
•Wellness Core
•Fromm
•Natural Balance
•Zignature

Dehydrated

Small Batch

Fresh Food

Just Food for Pets

Switching foods
When you try a new dry food, it is important to switch foods slowly. Some dogs with iron stomachs can tolerate a quick switch, but it is safest to switch slowly. Feeding each for two days: 1/8th, 1/4th, 1/2th, 3/4th of the new food until your dog is fully switched over. Your dog’s poo may be less that ideal during the transition if they are very sensitive, but ideally should balance out within a week to solid, contoured, and healthy looking.

When selecting a brand, do research online, but know that there is an evolution in quality within brands over time. Orijin and Merrick were two of my favorite foods until their popularity led to one of them being purchased by Purina, who promptly raised prices and lowered quality to the point where I stopped recommending them. How could I tell? The poo of the dog’s who were on those foods degraded to a level where I could tell their stomach were unhappy and the food was being padded with fillers. Fillers are nutritionally costly to a dog and can use more metabolic energy to push through the digestive process than is offset by the limited nutrition contained in the food.

Feeding Raw
Frozen pre-packaged raw food has become a popular option for owners who understand the benefits of going raw. These foods are expensive, easy and not quite completely sound from a raw perspective. These prepackaged bags can be a part of raw food, but are not a complete diet as they lack the bone that is an important source of fiber, jaw exercise and teeth cleaning that dog’s need. Raw bone, unlike cooked, is incredibly healthy for dogs and an essential part of the raw diet. Cooked bones, as most of us know, are dangerous for dogs as they are apt to splinter when being chewed and can even puncture their intestines. Raw bones, on the other hand, are healthy, safe and they provide natural exercise for a dog’s jaw and even help to keep teeth clean!

When transitioning, I fast my dog for a full 24 hours and make the switch completely, not feeling kibble again unless I am fully switching back. Begin by feeding one meat source only. I like to start with a chicken drumstick, thigh or back as chicken is easily digested and the bones are soft and easy to chew. After a day of fasting, most dogs are happy to be presented with raw meat for the first time in their life. They will start by licking it to begin breaking down the muscle, then chewing it, intuitively knowing how to consume whole meat. Some owners are concerned about giving their dog such a primal food source, but watching a dog eat their first piece of chicken is amazing and exciting. In a life that is mostly civilized, it is a rare opportunity to see your dog’s animal nature in action.

Porter never had a normal poo in his life till he got on raw food. Now he is healthy and can run all day to his hearts content!

How much to feed
Picking the amount of food per day is trial and error. Shoot to feed 2-3% of your dog’s ideal body weight. My 12lb Dachshund eats a drumstick or one puck consisting of a bone, red muscle meat, organ combination that I get from the farmers market with enzymes and probiotic sprinkled on top. A 50lb dog who is getting substantial exercise will eat two chicken quarters a day, fed at once or split into two meals a day. I alternate between the bone in meat and pucks, feeding more when my dog looks skinny and less when she starts to lose her hourglass dip near her hips.

For raw, each meal should ideally be 65% muscle meat, 20% bone, 10% heart, 5% liver. Their general diet also contains 65% boned meat, such as chicken legs, backs and lamb necks for example. Suggested meat progressions when starting out on raw are chicken backs, chicken drumsticks or quarters, turkey necks, pork, fish canned in water such as salmon or mackerel or raw fish, lamb and beef. After a month, add in some organ meat like organic hearts, livers and kidneys. It’s important to get livers organic as they process what the conventionally raised animals are fed, which are not chemicals we want in our pets. It is also a good idea to introduce egg including the shell, garlic, apple cider vinegar, yogurt and leftovers from the fridge that you would eat yourself, not scraps of overly fatty meat, as well as some cooked or raw vegetables.

Raw poo
After an initial adjustment in their digestive process, your dog’s poo should be smaller, denser and break down into a white powder, unlike the poo of conventionally fed dogs, which do not break down over time, another red flag on their quality that even the flies don’t want to eat it. If your dog’s poo is too loose, add more bone. If it’s too dry or your dog is straining to get it out, add more muscle meat. Too much bone can cause constipation and the surplus of calcium can block the absorption of other nutrients. When my dog was on kibble I needed to pay to have her anal glands expressed and they now express naturally in the process of moving her firm, raw bowels.

Types of bones
Raw meaty bones (RMBs) that are large, inedible and have a small amount of meat, marrow and cartilage on them are a great form of recreation for your dog. I always have a bag in my freezer that I rinse under water and throw outside for my dog to enjoy. These bones are best purchased from a butcher, ethnic market or raw feeding cooperative as they will be much cheaper from those sources than from the pet store. These bones can be marrow, soup or knuckle. RMBs are gnawed on, not consumed and have little meat. Bones that can be fed and consumed include chicken necks, backs, and leg quarters; turkey necks; lamb breast and necks; pork breast (riblets) and necks; and canned fish with bones, such as jack mackerel, pink salmon, and sardines (packed in water rather than oil).

The bones that can be consumed should make up 30 to 50 percent (one third to one half) of the total diet, or possibly a little more if the parts you feed have a great deal more meat than bone (e.g., whole chickens or rabbits). The natural diet of the wolf in the wild contains 15 percent bone or less, based on the amount of edible bone in the large prey they feed upon. While a reasonable amount more won’t harm an adult dog, it’s not needed and reduces the amount of other valuable foods that can be fed.

Transitioning
This philosophy of feeding is referred to as the Whole Prey Model and is designed to mimic the experience of eating a whole animal that was caught and killed. While it may seem intimidating at first, feeding raw is quite easy and intuitive for both owner and dog. While your dog may have an initial ‘healing crisis’ that involves a dip of health now that they have a stable and nutritious diet and can address some chronic by minor health issues. After three months, your dog will show signs of abundant nutrition in their coat, eyes and ears. When strangers remark on how soft their coat is you will know you are there!

Big dogs eat raw too! It’s worth every penny to see your dog vitally healthy.

There are very few dogs who do not do well on a raw diet, or even more rare, don’t like it. It is important to approach it exactly the way I describe and not be seduced into going back to kibble as your dog adjusts their palate. For the first three days, offer a drumstick or bowl of meat mix twice a day, trying to find their preferred protein and favorite time to dine. If they don’t eat, simply pick it up and wait till the next meal. No dog will let themselves starve and the more stubborn pups need a bit more incentivizing to try something new. If after 3 days of fasting your dog still refuses to eat, try a different food source or go back to the best quality kibble you can find.

After a few months you should have a good sense of how much your dog eats, what types of proteins agree with them and what cuts of meat they prefer. This will help guide you in what and how much to purchase, but does take time to figure out. Utilizing the freezer helps ensure that nothing goes bad, although dogs can safely eat meat that is slightly beyond consumable for a human.

Feeding raw in Austin
I like to start out with a package of drumsticks or chicken quarters from the grocery store. I put 3-4 in a baggie, leaving one bag out in the fridge and freezing the rest. If you would like to buy in bulk, place an order with East Side Poultry. I let the box of meat defrost then separate and freeze it in baggies. Then I don’t have to worry about it for another month or two. For dogs, defrosting and refreezing meat is no problem as they will not turn their nose up at the texture.

For the pucks, I order from Jake and Blue, which now has home delivery as well as a stall at a farmers market. Be sure to get ground bone as the pucks can create loose poo and need that extra fiber to be added. We also order marrow bones from them to feed as a treat. I love the quality and these pucks seem to keep my dog more full than the grocery store brands, although some clients are happy on brands like Northeast Naturals available at Bark and Purr or Hollywood Feed.

There is another delivery service called Texas Tripe that drives through Austin once a month so owners can collect bulk amounts of meat. I used to buy their tripe and meat mix tubes, bulk boxes of chicken parts and bones.

There is a local raw feeding collective, ARF, but they require a monthly volunteer shift in order to have access to their collectively purchased meat sources so be ready to jump in with both feet!

Lucy loving raw life

I’m excited for you to start your dog food journey! Remember to move slowly when changing and supplementing your dog’s diet and follow my recommendations as closely as possible. This isn’t an area where there is much room for creativity. Imformation available from vets, pet stores and online articles will be confusing and contradictory, but after a decade of feeding my dog raw and helping owners transition to the raw diet, this post is a comprehensive guide for what I know to be true and effective. Just ask Harley! She is going strong after a decade and gets compliments on her soft coat and vitality all the time.

Like a dog with a marrow bone

How to make your dog’s crate a great place

That is a fabulous idea! When determining if a dog was eligible to board with us, we always ask if the dog is crate trained. Trainers do it. Vets do it. Groomers do it. Airplanes do it. Boarding facilities do it. At some point, your dog’s life will include being crated, so you should do it, too.

I am a trainer who loves crates! I love them because I know that my dog and my home are both safe when I’m out. Dogs love being in crates  when the crate is comfortable, covered with a sheet, and feels like a den. As long as your dog is getting enough exercise every day, they don’t need to be free in the house while you’re out. Being free in the house can sometimes be stressful for a dog. Especially when our dogs are home alone. Having free run of the house can feel like we are asking them to protect the house. This can be taxing and exacerbate stress barking or separation anxiety. It can also lead to scratched doors, chewed furniture and potty accidents.

No dog is too old: but it's a good idea to introduce your dog to the crate as a puppy. 

It’s better to create a positive experience than to try to fix a bad one, so take your time. 

Picking the right crate

As you can see in the photos, my favorite crate is wire because it allows for maximum airflow. Unless you are conditioning your dog to fly in an airplane there is no need to get a solid plastic sided crate. The soft crates are relatively useless because they are so easy to get out of and should be avoided. Expensive heavy duty crates are only necessary for true escape artists - which your dog isn’t likely to become if you introduce them to the crate in the way I describe.

You can easily find a used wire crate on Craigslist, Nextdoor or Facebook Marketplace for under $50 and disinfect it with a diluted bleach solution that you then rinse off and let dry in the sun. If you have a growing puppy this can be the best option. You might buy a larger crate for the size you expect them to be and block off unneeded space as they grow, but if you err on the side of too large you may end up trading it out anyway.

To find the right size measure your dog from nose to tail and top of head to the floor. That should be the bottom dimensions so your dog can lay flat on their side with their legs extended. You also want to make sure the height allows for them to stand without ducking. You don’t need to feel guilty leaving a dog in a well sized crate because they can’t be more comfortable than that outside of it. If your crate is so small that your dog has to curl their legs to lay down and they don’t have room to stretch that is similar to trying to sleep in the backseat of a small car with no room to stretch your legs and it would be understandable if they didn’t like spending time in there.

Generous pet owners may try to get a larger crate, but your dog doesn’t really need room to take any steps and for potty training puppies more space could allow them to designate one side as the bathroom and the other as the bedroom, which we don’t want.

Start by making your crate a nice cozy space in the common area. You could even pick up your other dog beds so the crate is the comfiest place in the room. Think of it like their bedroom or a little dog cave. 

• You can get a cute vintage sheet from a second hand store large enough to drape over your crate so it reaches the floor. A nice color or pattern keeps the crate from being an eyesore and a covered space feels more contained to your pup, like a bedroom or cave. You want to be sure you invest minimally at this point because your crate cover could get torn up in a frustrated moment during the learning process. Do NOT use a blanket or towel or custom crate cover because these do not allow for as much airflow and trap the body heat dogs let off. You want your dog’s space to be the same temperature as the climate controlled room they are in.

• For the bedding, start simple with a bed or towel. There is a chance that it may get chewed in the learning stages, so don’t start out by putting your finest dog bedding in there. 

  • Lots of owners wash blankets before it goes in the crate. I can assure you that your dog does not appreciate the fresh scent of Tide. The best bedding is something you have slept with, sat on or otherwise gotten your scent on. Shoving new blankets in the dirty clothes bin (after an initial wash for chemical residue) is heavenly for a dog. Don’t judge ‘em! Show your love by giving the pup the stinky bedding they want.

After you have made the crate as cozy as possible, start making it happy by building positive associations.

• First get some really high quality treats. From now on, at least for a while, this will be a crate only delicacy - gotta be in the crate if you want to enjoy it! 

  • For this I like freeze dried treats, bully sticks, pigs ears, frozen marrow bones or whatever else makes your dog happy.

• Lead your dog to the crate, toss the treat in the back, then help guide your dog in with encouraging words, and happy energy. You can stick your arm inside to pat the bedding and wave the treat. Once they pop in, give pets, scratches and verbal praise,

  • If this doesn’t work, you can add a few little leading tugs on the collar or ‘pulsing’ pushes on your dog’s booty. 

• Then, once they are able to stand in there for a few seconds without you holding or blocking them, slowly let them out. You don’t want a starting gate break, just a casual saunter. 

  • If you are feeding a long chewing treat like a bully stick or marrow bone, toss it back into the crate if they try to bring it out to enjoy. 

  • You can sit by the open crate or close it and stay within the view of the opening that isn’t covered by the sheet.

  • If the treat isn’t enough to keep your dog occupied, take time sitting with them by the open crate and petting them while they are inside. *Whatever motivates your dog, reserve it and try to associate it with the crate. 

Once your pup is comfortable with the space, start feeding all meals in the crate. For most dogs, you haven’t shut the door yet as we are just acclimating. 

• Food should be placed against the back wall. 

  • If your dog chooses to miss a meal avoiding the crate, that is okay! Sometimes people skip meals too and they’re alright. Your dog will likely eat the next one. Good things come to those who get in their crate.

When your dog has a meal or two in the crate, go ahead and try shutting the door while they eat, first staying in the room. 

• Shut the door. Open the door. 

  • The door is shut momentarily at first so your dog knows they won’t be in there forever. You can do this many times a day, leaving the door shut for seconds, then minutes, growing longer each time.

• Shut the door for the whole meal and let your dog out after they are done but before they whine or fuss. 

  • If your dog does start to whine, it’s very important that you don’t let them out till they have settled for at least 5-10 seconds. Otherwise you teach them the way out is to whine and you will very much regret creating that association! An important factor in crate training success is how tired your dog is. Trying to get an energetic dog to settle and be happy in a crate is an uphill journey.

• Try to work your crate training schedule to follow some good vigorous exercise, some water drinking, then potty time. Your dog should be happy to kennel up at that point!

  • If you have a lot of energy, you don't want to be forced to sit still! If you are exhausted, however, you are happy to bring on a comfy place to rest where you don’t have to worry about being bothered. The first time you leave your house, it’s only going to be for a second. Literally a second. 

• Crate your dog, walk around the house for a few minutes doing chores or something other than your ‘getting ready to leave’ routine. Then without saying anything to your dog, walk out your door, shut it, take one breath, then walk back in, again not saying anything to your dog. 

  • If your dog is alert, but not whining, you can let them out, being sure to ignore any excited behavior. 

  • If they are whining, wait for them to settle. 

  • If they are pretty content, maybe try leaving them in and going outside for another round. 

• You want to briefly crate your dog then go in and out of your door as many times as possible this week, making it longer and longer till you can sit outside for 15 minutes playing on your phone or doing those push ups you have been putting off. 

• After that, try to go run a quick errand.

Coming out of the crate is a great opportunity to practice the ‘wait’ command. In our training sessions we talk about impulse inhibition, your dog’s ability to regulate himself and his emotions. 

• Wait until your dog has calmed themself before you even approach the crate. 

  • If your dog’s excitement level rises as you approach, stop, turn away, take a few steps back, or even leave the room so your dog can calm down.

  • You want to teach your dog that only a calm pup gets let out.”Calming down is the toll you have to pay at the crate door.”

• Lean down to unlatch the door and say “waaaait” in a calm, low voice. 

  • If your dog is overly excited they won't do very well here, so their excitement level has to be at a moderately contained stage before we begin.

• Start to open the door,  and say, “wait” again, and slowly increase the size of the gap, staring at the base of the crate and watching your dog from your peripheral vision. 

  • If your dog makes a move for the opening,quickly close it. Even if your dog has squeezed part way through, grab them and put them back in. 

  • It is really important that they don’t dart out of crates, or out of any doors. To be honest, there should not be a lot of darting going on, period. 

  • Frantically rushing out the opening can make your dog feel more anxious about being in and let out of your crate. 

• Once the door is fully open, slowly stand up, still watching your dog out of the corner of your eye. Be ready to shut that door if your dog makes a run for it. 

• After you get all the way up, I’ll take a breath and wiggle your shoulders to be sure your tension isn’t what is holding your dog in place. 

• Then, with calm energy say “okay” or “let’s go” and slowly start to walk away, ready to correct any jumping, whining or over excitement.

 Many a crate training has been disrupted by whining. When people hear a dog whine, they associate it with crying and assume their dog is distressed. Most of the time it’s more of a temper tantrum. Your dog is frustrated because, likely, they almost always get what they want and right now they want to be with you instead of in their crate. When we let our dog out in response to whining we teach them that they can have their way and that whining is the way to get there. You will surely earn yourself more whining by responding favorably to it. Even though, whining is unpleasant, your dog needs to understand, just like a toddler, that ‘go to bed’ means ‘go to bed’ and it isn't a negotiation. 

• First ignore the whine, go about your business. This is called waiting for the behavior to go extinct by not rewarding it. Sometimes it works, so always try it first, but often this alone won’t do the job.

  • Be prepared for the ‘extinction burst.’ This is another term that means it will get worse before it gets better. Basically, your dog is going to pull out all of the stops, and if not even that works, then, and only then will they extinguish the behavior.  

If ignoring the whining doesn’t make it stop,don’t suffer in silence. Try to find a way to express to your dog that nothing bad is happening and they need to accept that the crate, like a dentist appointment, is just part of life. 

• Start with a verbal correction that you will deliver without going into the room or, ideally, even stopping what you are doing. Call out a firm, but gentle “eh’eh” or say “dog no” or “quit” and then wait a beat to see what happens.

  • If your dog stops, great! If not, increase the pressure. Call again with more intensity from another room. 

  • If your dog is really fussing, go right into the room where the crate is and repeat your verbal correction. 

  • It’s important to remember that your dog wants you to come into the room to let them out, so you need to be sure that your dog knows the moment you cross the threshold that the desired result has not been achieved. In fact, this isn’t a version of you he recognizes at all. You have booty kicking energy and should not be messed with. Say “QUIT” in a loud, sharp voice then stomp out of the room, closing the door. 

  • If this doesn’t work, it’s trainer time! Give us a call to get a hand dealing with the tough to train pup who seems resistant to my ‘best of crate training’ suggestions. Sometimes there are relational cues that we give our dog in other areas that can undermine our training results.

How to teach your dog to fetch

Our own Haley Benardino stepped off the trails and behind her computer to write today’s blog on fetch

Fetch is a great way to exercise, play and bond with your dog. We love fetch because it can help your dog direct  their  energy while using their mind in a constructive way. Some dogs are born understanding how to chase and retrieve. Others might have a bewildered look on their face when you toss a toy. Fetch should always be fun for your dog! Keep your energy happy and playful and offer fun rewards for their participation. This means you have to figure out what motivates your dog. It could be verbal or physical affection, treats, or play. 

CHOOSING THE RIGHT TOY

Finding that perfect toy for your dog is one of the most important steps. Some dogs prefer a ball or frisbee, others a plush toy. It may take a few tries to figure out what type of toy gets and keeps your dog’s attention. 

• Be sure to pick a toy that is not small enough to be accidentally swallowed. Also beware of toys that can be broken into pieces or are too hard or sharp on the edges. 

• Frisbees that are not designed for dogs can chip dogs’ teeth. The frisbees that are made for dogs have soft rubber edges that are much easier and safer to catch mid air.

Chuckit brand soft side flyer, Flying Squirrel, and Tail Spin Flyer

• Chuckit ball thrower (helpful for those slobbery pups or the ones that enjoy running a longer distance)

• Squeaky balls (that squeak when squeezed), whistle balls (whistles when thrown), or any kind of noise making ball are a favorite for lots of dogs! Squeezing the ball to get your dog’s attention or regain their focus can be handy and get their full attention on the toy.

• Nubby balls or plush toys are a favorite for dogs who are more mouthy and enjoy the gum stimulation or have a softer, more sensitive mouth.

• Rope toys are great for dogs who enjoy a little tug game when they bring the toy back to you before you ask them to “drop it”. This kind of toy comes in many varieties.

Once you have established what toy is your dog's favorite, reserve that toy for fetch practice only. Keep it out of your dog’s reach and only bring it out when it's time to play fetch. Doing this ensures that your dog won’t get bored with the toy. It will also keep your fetch toy from being destroyed.

RETRIEVING

Start small: Using the toy you picked just for this occasion, begin a session by playing with your dog, wriggling it around their face or in their mouth, playing a tug game and keeping it fun. 

• Once your dog has the toy in their mouth, reward them! This will show your dog that going for this toy is what you want. After a few minutes of good, happy play, ask your dog to drop the toy and reward it by saying “good drop.”

Toss the toy only a few feet away from you and say “go get it.” It’s best to start with short distances while you get the basic concept down.

• Run with your dog to the toy, indicating with your body and voice that you want them to grab it. 

• Once they have the toy in their mouth, reward again with a “good dog” and encourage them to bring it to you with a happy “come” or “bring it here” command.  

• When your dog comes to you, give a very happy reward like petting and saying “good come” or feeding a treat.  

• Repeat this process multiple times over the course of a few days or weeks, slowly adding a little more distance when you toss the toy away.

Repetition is key: Remember that learning new skills has to be a series of wins for your dog. They need to feel they are getting it right, so be sure you are asking your dog to do more repetitions in their skill zone than out of it and slowly expand the distance of the throws or time you play. 

• Try not to get to the point where your dog becomes bored and stops chasing the toy or bringing it back. On the other hand, if your dog really gets into the fetch and stops playing because they overexert themselves, take a break to let them catch their breath, have a drink of water, or lay in the shade with their toy until they are ready to play again. This is especially important in the hotter temperatures of summer.

 COMMON ISSUES

Your dog isn’t into toys

Before you get started it is important to understand your dog and whether they like toys or not. Some dogs don't like putting toys in their mouth. If this is the case with your dog, in order to make toys more enticing, you can try soaking a tennis ball in chicken stock, or burying one in their dry food, putting treats in an old sock and tying the end in a knot, or try using a  Kong chewer with some peanut butter stuffed inside . Making the toys a little tastier can help to show your dog that toys are great for chewing, playing, and mouthing. Most dogs love toys and it doesn't take much to entice them to play.

Your dog plays keep away

Some dogs would rather play keep away and have you chase them for the toy. Others bring the toy back to you but not all the way, stopping a few feet away from you and making you close the gap. Other dogs will bring the toy back, but don’t want to drop it so you can throw it again.

A great way to tackle these issues is to attach a long line to your dog. We like a homemade 20’ or 30’ rope with a clip or a long lead that you can order. Important note: don't throw the toy farther than the length of rope you have.

Using a Long Line 

• After your dog gets the toy, ask them to come. If they don't, call again then wait a beat and see what they do. 

• When you see the moment of hesitation cross their mind or when they make the decision not to come, give a tug on your rope and see what they do.

• At this point you would use the rope to encourage your dog to come back to you with little tugs or wiggles while saying in a nice tone “bring it here” or “come here.” 

• Make sure you are still rewarding them for coming back with the toy, especially in the beginning while they are still trying to learn what it is that you are asking for. A dog can’t be naughty if they don’t know the rules.

Bait and Switch: Another good trick for getting your dog to come back and drop the toy is a good old fashioned bait and switch. Have a second toy or squeaker ball ready so when your dog gets the first toy in their mouth and doesn’t come, you wave or squeak the second toy to encourage your dog to come back fully for the second toy. Usually they will drop the first toy to chase the second toy and then you can go grab the first toy again and repeat.

Your dog won’t drop the toy

You can use a treat to teach your dog to drop the toy. Place the treat above your dog’s nose and say “drop it.” Then wait for your dog to fully drop the toy. Pick it up and say “good drop” in a nice tone and then give the treat. Let your dog chew and swallow the treat then get their attention before throwing the toy again. Keep the treats small and only use when needed. It’s important to wean off of treats once your dog understands the basic concept because treats can easily  be turned into a bribe instead of used as a reward.

Most training issues you encounter should be resolved after the first few weeks of consistent work. Feel free to reach out for a training session if you need some additional pointers.

IN CONCLUSION

• Fetch should always be a fun experience, especially when you are first teaching it. You want your dog to love playing fetch with you. 

• If you graduate to playing outside of a fenced area, your dog should be safe off leash and respond reliably to basic commands (sit, stay, come). 

• Dogs of any age can learn to fetch. It is helpful to start them at a young age, but it can be a fun game for any energetic dog.

How to build a solid recall command: teaching your dog 'come'

The ‘come’ command is one of the most important things we can teach our dogs. Having a solid ‘come’ can help you keep your dog safe as well as open the door to a world of fun activities. A solid ‘come’ takes work and is one of the most difficult commands, and therefore we use treats for it - really good treats.

Since ‘come’ is so important, it warrants the use of hot dogs! Hot dogs, the top of the dog treat pyramid, the best thing you can give a dog. For this extra important command, we are sending you to the grocery store. Buy a package of hot dogs and a box of sandwich bags. At home, slice each hot dog lengthwise, then chop them into tiny bits no bigger than the tip of your pinky finger. We want your dog to enjoy the taste, but be able to get it down with just two chomps. Put about 5-10 pieces in each sandwich bag and put them in the freezer. You want to take one bag out a day for your practice sessions. In order to preserve the sanctity of the hot dog, don’t use these treats for anything else. These are ‘come’ treats only.

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Add a stop at Home Depot to your shopping trip because you also need a light 30’ rope and a clip. You can clip or tie the rope directly on to the collar or on to the handle of your Mendota Slip Lead, because this process begins with a nice calm exit from your house and a few minutes of focused loose leash walking. 

You want to get to a nice quiet grassy area near where you live. Your yard is a good place to start practicing, but it’s a good idea to take the show on the road after a few sessions and go somewhere with new smells and more distractions. Don’t worry! You have the rope to keep your dog safe and the hot dog to keep their attention.

Wait for your dog to get interested in the environment. Once your pup figures out that hot dog is not being dished out for free they will make the most of the moment and start sniffing around. When your dog gets slightly distracted and into a groove (not too distracted mind you, we are looking for wins, especially at first) say ”DogComeCome!!” in the happiest, highest voice you can muster. You want it to all sound like one word to avoid the common mistake of pausing between saying your dog’s name and the command. You can also bend down, tapping your knees, and  opening your hands to your dog as they run towards you. Just don’t squat so low that your butt rests on your heel just in case your dog doesn’t come and you need to back up!

‘Come’ should be THE BEST! Happy voice, happy energy, happy hot dogs! Coming to me should be the best feeling in the world. When your dog comes, they should get a ‘good dog, good dog, who is such a good dog’, a hot dog chuck, and a scratch. After that, stand up and walk a few steps together until they start to sniff again. You don’t want to make your reward so exciting that they get drunk on reward energy, and start bombing away from you at warp speed, but you also don’t want them to feel like the fun is ending.

It’s not ‘come’ unless you can touch your dog. It’s important that when your dog comes to you, that you reach down to touch them around the head or neck. Do this 9/10 times so that your dog starts to learn that the post ‘come’ touch is a temporary scratch and not you reaching to grab them and take their freedom away. This way when you do need to grab your dog they don’t slip away from your hand. This slip can be a truly dangerous move - if it happens at all, even rarely, that means it could happen at the absolute wrong time, but it also speaks to what I call an attitude problem.  Where your dog has determined that you are trying to grab them and, because they don’t want to be grabbed, they evade your hand. Hopefully if you are at the stage of training where you are doing off-leash prep, you have already addressed that kind of thinking. If I do have a hand shy dog, I make sure to touch them extra until they learn to tolerate it.

Keep it interesting! Your baggie only has 5-10 chucks of hot dog because you only want to practice this a few times each session. To begin set up some wins while your dog learns what ‘come’ is and how fun it can be! You want your dog to get far enough away to where they can run back to you, but not so far and so distracted that the ‘come’ fails and you need to use the rope to reel them in. If your dog misses a ‘come,’ take a break and do some loose leash walking. If they miss two, maybe it’s time to quit for the day and try again tomorrow - after all, only dogs who come when called get to stay at the park. 

Wean off the treats: As you build on the reliability of the command, practicing it at longer intervals and with more distractions, your dog may get a treat for every other ‘come,’ then three out of five, then one out of ten.

What do you do if something goes wrong? Let’s say you belt out your most charming “come come!” and your dog doesn’t even perk an ear. Keep calling their name and the ‘come’ command at different pitches and volumes. Give a touch/release on the rope. Clap your hands and leap around trying to make yourself interesting enough to warrant a response. As you say ‘come,’ back up, almost jogging backwards as you call your dog to make it more fun for your dog to run to you. If all that fails and your dog is completely unconcerned with your movements or hollering, reel him in using the rope. First, do a tiny touch on the rope, winding it up and taking out the slack. I wait a beat to see if that was enough to get your dog’s attention, then give a heavier tug. Again, watch your dog. Are they engaged yet or do they ignore you? After that, apply pulsing pressure (touch/release) through the rope as you call your dog and start moving backwards while still calling them. The moment your dog makes the decision to stop being dragged and start moving towards you, reward them with a verbal ‘yes!’ and ‘good!” but don’t use a treat for this round. Hot dogs are only for dogs who come of their own volition.

Overall, ‘come’ should be a romping good time while still being calm and mentally engaged. You want ‘come’ to be the happiest moment of your dog’s day. You can practice twice a day or once every other day, but try to be consistent. Any treat-based training is all about repetition. You gotta put the hours in to get an ingrained response. Practicing good rules and boundaries at home will support your work in the field - don’t forget that everything is connected!