European dogs are better (and it’s all our fault)

I have been in Italy and Switzerland for the past three weeks and one thing I noticed right away is that European dogs are better behaved than American dogs.

There seems to be slightly less dogs here, but they are in more places. Dogs in restaurants. Dogs on buses or in the train station. Dogs in shops. The dogs go everywhere with the owner, many walking on a harness with a loose leash and being very settled and calm in their mentality.

These dogs are out and about. They look around. They enjoy the scenery and smells of the world. They are having a good time. One very clear difference that explains why these dogs are so good out in public is that no one on the street stops to greet or pet them therefore they don't excitedly pull towards anyone walking by because they have no expectation of a potential reward.

This may seem counter intuitive - less attention equals more happiness? Many of the issues I see in dogs at home is that they are at a baseline of being overstimulated and overexcited. From that overexcited mindset when they are out of the house they can't make good choices socially and engage in impulsive behaviors like pulling on the leash or dragging towards objects of interest like other dogs, people, squirrels, or smells.

All the petting by strangers actually rewards that impulsive and excited mindset. First of all, dragging towards someone gets rewarded with pets so that is a behavior a dog will continue to engage in because it was successful. Second, the type of mindset that would drag is rewarded, creating positive associations with being in that mindset.

This is all because the owners or the people doing the petting don't know that most dogs they see are overexcited. They also would never think not to pet an excited dog. Why wouldn't we want to reward excitement? We as humans covet that state! This could also be because the owners don't feel comfortable risking being seen as rude by asking people not to pet their dog or to wait until their dog is calm. They may not even know how to calm their dog down!

I had heard this about Europe - that many dogs are able to walk happily next to their owners off leash through busy streets because it isn't customary to pet other people's dogs, thus the dog is able to calmly focus on his job and enjoys quite a bit more freedom than our over-pet American dogs do. Do you think a dog would rather get less pets and enjoy a life of going everywhere with their owner off leash or more pets but less outings and a life of pulling on the leash?

To be fair, I have noticed that while the European dogs are much better behaved around people, the dogs here tend to react badly when they see another dog. That same calm dog will begin barking and the owners, much like their American counterparts, will either ignore it, give a too subtle correction that goes unnoticed or unheeded by the dog or, worst of all, pet their dog in an attempt to calm them which accidentally rewards the very behavior they are trying to disincentivize.

Because dogs are primarily human companions, many dogs in today's world don't know how to dog! They don't know how to interact or how to react when they see another dog. A dog will bark either out of overexcitement, an attempt to interact or a reactive knee jerk response because they feel the other dog is a potential threat or that they need to protect their owner.

While there are actions we can and should take in the moment to dissuade our dog from barking such as giving a stern 'No' at an intensity that draws our dog's attention, creating a pulsing pressure on the leash that brings their focus back to us or giving them something else to focus on, like walking back and forth, in a circle or in a figure 8 until they settle down, I think it’s vital to look at the cause of the barking to be able to address the problem at the source and solve it instead of only managing it in the moment it occurs.

If a dog is under-socialized and doesn't know how to act around other dogs, it's our obligation as owners to socialize them. This can be done at a competent daycare, but should be begun slowly and early in their life (see our Dog Dating article for more tips).

If your dog is over excited, look at all the places in your life where you reward an excited mindset. Do you pet your dog when they are in a stimulated state or every time they solicit attention? Do you leash a dog that is barking, spinning in circles or jumping on you? Do you leave the house after your dog dragged you down the hallway? Do you feed a dog that is shoving his nose in the bowl before it can reach the ground? Do you let a dog out of the door that gets in front of you and pushes his nose into the crack the moment it opens? Does your dog leap out of the car the second the door is wide enough? Can your dog get off and stay off of furniture when asked? If you 'reward' these impulsive driven behaviors by giving the dog the thing they want of course you will get more of the same and in moments you don't want it. As trainers, we take the natural rewards of life and use them as moments to practice being calm and patient to encourage that mindset. The more a dog is asked to go from an excited state to a calm one, the more accessible and normal that calm state will be.

Finally, if your dog is reactive or feels he needs to protect you, it's important to look at how your dog perceives you and your relationship. When dogs greet each other for the first time, they immediately begin to feel each other out so they know where they fall in the social system. Often one dog will do something rude and see if the other dog submits to it, tolerates it or doesn't allow it. This gives response gives them feedback about their relationship and what they can and can't get away with when it comes to interacting with that dog. Sometimes dogs need to have this conversation over and over depending on the combination of personality types.

Back to us humans. Many behaviors that we think are cute, sweet or loving are actually, unfortunately quite rude in dog culture. They amount to a dog 'feeling us out' and seeing what they can get away with. By allowing these behaviors, or rewarding them, we show our dog that we are a sucker and they can walk all over us - often literally. When a dog sees us as a bit of a push over and feels they are 'above us' there is a downside. In their culture, being ‘above’ someone means they are responsible for them. If they are responsible for us and a potential threat, like another dog, is approaching, well, the best defense is a good offense. From here we get barking, growling, lunging, the raising of hackles and other antisocial behaviors from dogs that aren’t truly aggressive, just confused.

Luckily, the cure for this unfortunate dynamic lies within our power. If we can learn dog language and culture and shift how we respond to certain behaviors we can change how our dog sees us and the world. This will improve their lives in so many ways. While they may enjoy it, they don't 'need' unlimited love, instant gratification, affection from strangers or a lack of boundaries at home. What they most need is a sense of safety: to know that someone has their back and will advocate for them and to feel that they have a competent leader they trust to receive direction from. They don’t need an overly permissive parent to enjoy life, they need a good boss.

When I shifted my relationship with my dog from an indulgent one to a more structured one the transformation I saw in her was nothing short of miraculous. Our relationship became more subtle. There was room for her personality to come out. Her interactions with other dogs, which at the point I applied this training intervention were devastating and dangerous, became calm and confident. Honestly, remembering and writing that makes me tear up. In shifting how I interacted with my dog to a style that was more focused on what was actually good for her and less about what I wanted to be good for her or what felt good to me was love in the most pure and selfless form. It changed her life and my life, too. I'm so grateful I get to share this information with others and help improve the lives of dogs and their owners around the world.